Bridal shower etiquette

posted 11 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

The whole point of a shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts, so yes, you need to bring a gift. I’m not quite following the excuse that since you’re not “close,” you don’t need to give a gift. Presumably you’re close enough for her to include you on the guest list for the bachelorette, shower, and wedding?

Post # 4
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

Huh? I’m confused

Post # 5
Member
5962 posts
Bee Keeper

What? Why would you be suggesting another restaurant? It’s also rude AF to bring your own food to a restaurant, possibly against their health code. 

Just dont attend if you aren’t close. Though I’m not sure why you were supposed to bring a bachelorette party gift, thats a bit weird. 

Post # 7
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Yes, it’s rude to not take a gift to a shower. That’s the point, to shower the bride (or couple) with gifts. Bachelorette parties are not gift giving events, so that one is okay and odd you were questioned. 

If you are not close, why are you going to the events? You can say no. 

And it’s rude for you to suggest another location. You are not the bride nor the bridal party. That is for the bride and her likes.  

Post # 8
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Cortland, NY

The general rule where I’m from is that if you’re invited, you don’t HAVE to go, but a small gift via mail ($20 in a card or whatever) is appropriate. If you’re going, then you absolutely should bring a gift. I think it’s odd the bridal party would pull you aside and question you about it, but they were right – you should definitely bring a gift if you are breathing the air in a celebration of any kind, not just a wedding shower. Even at bachelorette parties, I tend to pay for a round of drinks or something.

Could be a culture thing though.

Post # 9
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Also…just noticed the rest of your post about the restaurant. Is this for real? If you don’t want to give a gift and you don’t like the location, you can decline. An invitation is not a summons. 

Post # 10
Member
3090 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

If you’re not that close and you don’t want to shell out for a gift, just don’t go. 

I’m definitely confused as to how you’re not close enough to the bride to justify a gift, yet you feel important enough to have suggested changing venues to suit your tastes? [Edited by moderator for TOS violation]

Post # 12
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

newenglandgal90 :  I’m just confused… why would you think you could bring your own food to a restaurant? Super rude and also inappropriate. Also, why did you attend the bachelorette if you don’t like her enough to even give a shower gift?

Post # 13
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada

I’m so confused…

In my area it’s not the norm to give gifts at the bachelorette (here it’s more just a fun party to celebrate girl time with the bride, however it’s chosen to be spent – club, outing, dinner, karaoke, etc etc etc). But the shower pretty much a given to give a gift – a large portion of the point of showers here is to watch the bride open her gifts and play some games (ie: bridal gift bingo).

Post # 15
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’ve noticed a real pattern with your posts. You’ve had the attention and reactions you crave. Now sit down. 

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