(Closed) Bridal Shower Etiquette

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would call it something other than a “shower”.  some kind of wedding celebration to include everyone you unfortunately couldn’t invite to the wedding.

yes, it is rude to invite people to a shower who aren’t invited to the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly I’d wager that once they show up to anything where they bring you a gift they will be insulted if they aren’t invited…is it possible to just bite the bullet and invite them to the wedding?  If not it kind of reads as a ‘well I can’t contribute so I’ll have all my friends buy you stuff’ scam against the friends…if they are cool and understanding of the situation I say go for it, though.

Post # 5
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@lisalisak: As long as the guests know they aren’t invited to the wedding, I think it’s okay. But if they are being led to believe they’re going to receive an invite in the mail, then no, that’s pretty rude, IMO. At least that’s the way it’s done where I live.

Post # 6
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

My question: Is it rude to invite people to a shower that won’t get invited to the wedding?

Yes. There’s no good way to invite someone to the “leading-up-to” event while not inviting them to the actual wedding.

Post # 7
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

It depends. Do these people know, up front, that they are not invited to the wedding. Do they want to come and celebrate you anyway? If so, then I don’t think it is rude.

We had a somewhat similar situation and my Maid/Matron of Honor made the executive decision to keep the shower to wedding guests only. While it wasn’t rude, it was a bit messy, and she didn;t want to deal with the mess. Fair enough.

Post # 8
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yes typically you would not invite anyone to a shower that wouldnt be invited to the wedding. You could call it a pre wedding celebration maybe if your mom really wants to invite those people. 

Post # 9
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

By not inviting them to the wedding it can look like you only wanted their present.  You can still celebrate with them by having a tea or a luncheon.

The topic ‘Bridal Shower Etiquette’ is closed to new replies.

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