(Closed) Bridal Shower Faux Pas?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7687 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MexiPino:  I can not imagine people being that petty. Did they throw the shower out of love for the bride, or because they’re that desperate for bottles of wine and scented candles? Seriously. If that’s their attitude, they are the ones who should be embarrassed, not the bride. How very very small of people.

Post # 4
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve never heard of a hostess gift for the person who hosts the shower.  I’ve hosted several and never gotten a gift in return and I’ve never expected one either.  It could just be that the other girls were tired or had other things going on?  I don’t know that I would mention it to her about a gift…maybe just saying something about how much work the other girls put into the shower?  


It seems like it you bring up the hostess gift thing, then you’re coming across as asking where your gift is.  I’d just drop it and let it go. 

Post # 6
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Never heard of it.

Post # 9
7687 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MexiPino:  “Several cousins & friends approached her about throwing a bridal shower

So, that sounds like she didn’t ask for the shower, they offered it knowing full well that she’s eloping and they wouldn’t be at the wedding. If someone OFFERS to throw her a shower, she is not obligated to tell them “no, no, mustn’t do that.” It’s on them to NOT OFFER if they’re going to have hard feelings. That makes no sense. If this is their attitude, they are absolutely being petty. How can they feel slighted if she didn’t ask them for the shower?

Have you thought about just asking them, “hey,how about some pics” or something? Maybe you’ve misinterpreted them because really, I have a hard time believing people would offer to throw a shower and then get pissed because the girl had a shower. And then >gasp< didn’t give hostess gifts. 

Post # 11
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MexiPino:  I’m a *big* fan of the hostess gift, even for tiny parties, and you would have recieved one from me.

Post # 13
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had a shower thrown for me on the weekend and I didn’t realise until the night before when I was trawling weddingbee threads about showers to see what I might expect (since it was my first ever!) that I realised hostess gifts were a thing. Since it was being hosted by four (!!!) of FI’s aunts, I sent him out first thing in the morning to pick up four bouquets. I hope that was enough! But I can ABSOLUTELY understand the bride not realising that hostess gifts were a thing, since I was literally in that situation four days ago!

Post # 14
123 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve been to dozens of showers over the years and have never heard of a hostess gift.

Maybe it’s a regional thing…. like guests taking the wedding centerpieces off the table?  I’d never heard of that either until I read about it on the Bee.  LOL

Post # 15
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Never heard of this. I have hosted and been to many showers. I always bring a bottle of wine or flowers when I go to someones house for dinner but I don’t think a shower is the same thing.


Post # 16
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

meh, it isn’t important. let it slide. She’s eloping. you elope to escape all that stuff

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