Post # 1
So I am planning my BFF’s bridal shower. There is about 57 people going right now. I rented a hall, and I am doing all the catering and decorating myself (I am the Maid/Matron of Honor, the BM’s are useless).
One of the BM’s asked me what I got for the bridal shower favors and I was like huh? I have never been to a bridal shower where we were given favors! She said it’s rude not too. I plan on getting prizes for games, but favors?
Is it really necessary to get favors?
Post # 3
Favors aren’t necessary but are always a nice touch. I think it all depends on the setting. I hosted a bridal shower recently but we went to a restaraunt and had lunch. I didn’t do favors because it wasn’t the setting for them. But for more of an event I probably would have.
Post # 4
Favors are a nice touch if you can swing them. At one of my showers, the favors were as simple (and delicious) as some lovely cookies decorated to look like wedding cakes. The hostess packaged them up so people could take them on the way out. 🙂
Post # 5
@lalamcbee: Bridesmaids who have opinions on how you should be hosting your shower, should claim the privilege of co-hosting with you and take responsibility for making their pet project happen, whatever it is. Showers are NOT a formal event: they are supposed to be a fun time for the bride’s best friends to get together and support her with some good-hearted fun and teasing and little nominal gifts; so the formal requirement for a single proper hostess to take responsibility for the event is moot. In fact, often the entire group of friends participate in putting on the shower together, and the only actual “guest” is the bride herself. Admittedly, the owners of the hall you have rented to accomodate all fifty-seven of the bride’s “best” friends will want a single proper contractee on the contract — which is one reason that in my circle, we tend to hold showers at someone’s home or club rather than a rented venue. But then, we tend not to have brides with fifty-seven best friends with whom they are on a teasing-and-supporting basis. Fifty-seven co-hosts might be rather unwieldy in a way that twenty girls pitching in together are not.
If you have a lot of silly games, and make the rule that each guest can win a prize only once, then the prizes take the place of favours and it is nice to have one each to go around. You don’t want one or two people going home empty-handed if they are the only ones of the whole company who won nothing. But again, fifty-seven is an awful lot of prizes-cum-favours; and playing enough games so that even a quarter of that guestlist have a chance to win would take all night, so you are not running any risk of singleing out a couple of people as non-winners: they will be the majority. Do not sweat the favours.
Now, I am interested to know what you have chosen for favours. The last shower I was at had little grab-bags of small stationery items: a note-pad, a mini Kleenex pack, erasors, pencils and so on … cute pretty clutter of which I already have more than I can use. That lead me to thinking about ideas for what to use the next time I have the privilege of hosting a shower. Not many of my girlfriends are getting married these days although it does happen of course (hi there, TTR!), but the infamous groom’s-family-showers are likely to fall to me from time to time. I wonder how many shower attendees would prefer a Versata “Tuff-and-Tiny” USB drive to a pretty box of teeny kleenexes. Not that it’s an etiquette issue. Maybe I should go check out the “parties” board and post a poll there.
Post # 6
@aspasia475 the shower is tea party themed, so I bought things like tea cups, tea pots, tea infusers, tea and flavored honey as the prizes for the shower.
Post # 7
@lalamcbee: Those sound like lovely ideas! I am making a mental note.
Post # 8
I just had my shower, it was briliant! We’ve had rave reviews 🙂 The only favours that were given out at my shower were small store-bought cookies that matched the theme wrapped in cello. We gave out 2 prizes – different potted plants. I was so stressed about the games, prizes and favours but it all really wasn’t even needed. The decor was amazing and the food, cake table & drinks were the most impressive to guests!
Post # 9
Tell that Bridesmaid or Best Man that she could very easily be in charge of favors if she is so concerned about it. My Maid/Matron of Honor assigned a Bridesmaid or Best Man be in charge of favors (It was my SIL but my Mother-In-Law actually ended up making them) and I did favors for the bridal shower I threw for my best friend last weekend. Its definitely an option but not if you are doing everything yourself it’s not 100% a necessity.
Post # 10
I was the Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friends wedding and had a few problems with the bridal shower. I didn’t see anything wrong with the small favors I planned on giving out. A small favor with handmade heart shaped white chocolate mints, which I made myself. (I decorate cakes and make chocolates as a side business so I knew what I was doing.) The Bride let me know that he mother wanted to know what I was doing for favors. I told her and her mother thought they should be giving more so she ordered frames to give out as well. I honestly was not offended by this at all. She wanted more and forked out the money for it. I was a firm believer that if another bridesmaid or mother or Future Mother-In-Law wanted more with the shower that I couldn’t afford or didnt think was necessary they they would have to take care of it. That may sound harsh to some people but sometimes others, WHO ARE NOT CONTRIBUTING ANY MONEY OR TIME, have ridiculous demands of the shower and you can’t give in the everyone ya know!
When all was said and done, I honestly don’t think that any of the favors were necessary. There was a big cake, tons of food and nice game winning gifts…that would have been good enough for me.
Post # 11
Every bridal & baby shower I’ve attended (I’ve been to a lot) have had favors. I’ve hosted 4 showers & gave a favor, it’s expected amongst my family & friends bc they’re at every event. In this situation I’d put the bridesmaid in charge of favors since they haven’t helped with anything.