(Closed) Bridal shower – FMIL inviting people I don’t know and not invited to wedding

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would remind Future Mother-In-Law that it’s considered a faux pas at best to invite people to showers if they are not invited to the wedding, but I would word it gently, and I would let her make the judgement call.  In some social circles this is perfectly acceptable, and your Future Mother-In-Law will know her friends the best.  If that’s the way it’s normally done in her social circle, then I don’t personally see anything wrong with it. It may be a little uncomfortable to have a bunch of strangers there but it sounds like her intentions are good– she wants her friends to meet the woman her son has chosen for his wife– and I wouldn’t turn that down.

Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Unfortunately I think these people will come and assume they’re also invited to the wedding. Which puts you in an awkward position of feeling obligated to invite them, or deal with their annoyance after they’ve attended, given you a gift and feel like you were just gift grabby. I’d try your best to get fmil to limit the list to just those that are invited. 

Post # 5
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

In this case, the Etiquette CAN BE either Traditional… Who gets invited to Wedding Showers also are Wedding Invites… OR it can be done as per Regional Customs (CoWorkers – Parent’s Friends – Chruch Ladies etc).  The latter is very true for those who live out in the country or in small towns etc.  Where a Wedding Shower, equates more to say a “barn raising” in days gone by (helping another family make their way in the world)

For more info on this take a look at another reply I wrote on this same subject earlier today… http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/lots-of-military-wedding-questions

 

Post # 6
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think if your mil wants to invite her close friends to a meet and greet at your shower, it’s fine.  They don’t have to bring gifts but can celebrate with you and wish you well. I have been invited to bridal showers where I was not invited to the wedding.  It might not be good etiquette but it’s done in this circle.  Besides her intentions are good and she knows her friends so obviously she doesn’t think they will mind.

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