(Closed) Bridal Shower for a 2nd time bride?? Will this anger the etiquette gods?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

It was both of our 2nd time getting married. We both got married to high school sweethearts and the marriages didn’t last long.  I didn’t have a shower the first time since we eloped but his wife did, so his family went to both. No one cared. It wasn’t about the gifts it’s about getting the ladies together before hand to share a special day and that’s it. DO IT!

Post # 19
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think you should just have one big “celebration”. It can act as bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. And don’t put any registry information on the cards. If people want to get you a gift they’ll ask where you are registered, but in this instance you don’t want people to think they HAVE to get you a gift.

This way you can celebrate, play games, etc – but people won’t feel like it’s another gift grab.

Post # 20
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee

I’m an encore and my mom felt the same way.  We ended up having 2 showers – one thrown by my bridesmaids and one thrown by my husband’s family.  They were fun and intimate and no on seemed offended.  Even my mom said she was glad we did it.  🙂

Post # 21
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@dunlapsangel: I’m too much of a control freak. lol

Post # 22
Member
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@dunlapsangel: My mother has never gotten over the embaressment of me having a child out of wedlock. She feels as though since I already have a child and he is divorced it is “in poor taste.”

Have a shower! I’m sure your friends and family are excited and happy for you. Let me know, I’ll fly down!

Post # 23
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

http://hubpages.com/hub/Second-Weddings

Here’s some interesting reading for you!

My IL’s were appalled that we were even having a wedding at all, since my husband was previously married. My Mom told his that just because he was married before, I wasn’t, so why should I miss out?

I had both a bridal shower and a small wedding. His wife got everything in the divorce.

Post # 25
Member
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

I agree that if you are inviting the same people, it will seem a bit odd for them to buy you the same household things all over again. But if its a different set of friends who didnt attend the first shower thats fine. Personally I’m not a huge fan of showers and will not behaving one even tho i am a 1st time bride.

Post # 27
Member
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

My mom had both a work and a relatives bridal shower for her second wedding.  Thank god, cause i inherited her china that the people she worked with all chipped in for!

Post # 28
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is from Emily Post:

Can an encore bride have a wedding shower?

Yes. If the bride has been married before, she may be given a shower. Other than close friends and relatives, the guest list shouldn’t include people who came to a shower for her first wedding. If friends plan to invite people who have already “showered” her, then a luncheon, tea, or cocktail party—without gifts—is a better way to go.

Post # 29
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Emily Post needs to have a drink. You can’t invite the same people? Puh-lease. What if they want to come? Do you deny access because Emily Post says it’s not okay? 

Crisark, have a shower. It’s been 10 years. You were very young with your first marriage and shouldn’t be judged for wanting another shower. I’ll throw you two if you want. 

Post # 30
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

“Emily Post needs to have a drink.”  hehe love it!

Post # 31
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Some “rules” are definitely made to be broken.  Have a rip-roaring time at your bridal shower, you awesome encore bride, you!  I had a great time at all 3 of my baby showers…*gasp*!

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