(Closed) Bridal shower for a small wedding

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

The etiquette says

#1 a family member should NOT be throwing you a party because it looks like the family is fishing for gifts for you

#2 that guests invited to the wedding shower should ALWAYS be invited to the wedding because it is rude to have them celebrate your upcoming nuptials but not be invited and it looks like you are fishing for more gifts!

I have been to a shower that has included a) ppl not invited to the wedding and b) thrown by a family member so it does happen! You will have to go with your gut on what you do – If you don’t feel comfortable politely decline your FMIL’s offer!

I personally wouldn’t do it as I really wouldn’t want to offend anyone and wouldn’t want anyone thinking that I am being greedy

Post # 4
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I had this same issue – friends from work wanted to throw me a shower even though we couldn’t invite them to the wedding.  I explained that and they said they really just wanted to do something nice for me, regardless of if they came to the wedding or not.

I relented, and asked that the invitation not ask for gifts.  I can share the exact text if you like, but basically I said that we should have a party to eat, hang out, etc.  If people bring gifts that’s their choice, but I didn’t want them to feel obligated. 

It’s in a few weeks so I can let you know how it goes 🙂

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