Bridal shower fund?

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2020 - City, State

For a shower, I agree this is tacky—and I’m 26, and pretty open-minded. You’re right, there’s no good way to handle this situation at the event unless they don’t plan on opening gifts at the event, in which case it isn’t a shower.

If you don’t need/want any physical gifts, you don’t have a shower.

How close are you to the bride? I would just decline unless it was one of my closest friends, in which case I would politely inform them that this does not present well and does not leave invitees  feeling very good at all. Or just attend and gift a regular shower gift: a nice vase or throw blanket, or a toaster if you’re feeling passive aggressive.

Post # 3
Member
10044 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would decline a shower invite like that. Sorry not sorry.

Post # 5
Member
9442 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
sunburn :  I would skip that shower and just send a card (no money) and then give my normal gift for the wedding. 

Post # 6
Member
21 posts
Newbee

Yeah, it is rude to have a shower when you’re only getting cash. 

I would decide that invite so fast.

Post # 7
Member
1496 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Ugh soooo tacky. Why is she even having a shower? I honestly don’t understand people. 

Post # 8
Member
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

View original reply
sunburn :  LMAO at:  If you want to be showered in money, I suggest a career as a stripper.

Post # 9
Member
3097 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
sunburn :  tacky and gross. Showers are not supposed to be fund raisers…no way would I attend that. 

Post # 10
Member
569 posts
Busy bee

I thought that it was to shower them with love not gifts since not everyone can afford a gift. I didn’t even know it was a thing to open gifts in front of everyone at the shower until FH’s aunts basically cornered me and told me they would like to leave but were waiting on me to open gifts…literally when I was in the middle of a conversation but apparently I was the rude one. Then it felt weird because some people gave us nicer things or a card with a few hundred bucks(money gifting is very common in myfamily) and some gave us very modest gifts or just a card with $10-20. It felt like they were side eyeing a few other guests for giving less and I hated it. How well do you know the bride and her family? Maybe they don’t plan on opening gifts…it’s not a thing in my family and it’s also not uncommon to let people know that you’d prefer money as a gift so I wouldn’t think twice…maybe chuckle at the cheesy poem.
Personally, if all someone could afford is a $5 thrift store candle holder, I’d rather have the $5 that we could use towards something we’d actually use instead of store away to gather dust or wait for a regifting opportunity. They bought something off the registry because your daughter had one and now it’s this bride’s turn to do things her way but if it makes you guys uncomfortable then you could skip it and wait to celebrate her at the wedding. 

 

Post # 11
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

View original reply
sunburn :  Id go off registry for theirs too then! 

This made me crack up big time though… you’re hilarious “If you want to be showered in money, I suggest a career as a stripper.” I feel the same way about asking for cash. 

Post # 12
Member
47422 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I too would decline the invitation. If you don’t want to do what s done at a shower, don’t have a shower.

Post # 14
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I just find the concept of bridal showers so strange. How do you deal with opening gifts in front of the giver and all other guests, have to look constantly delighted during the whole process, and try to reduce the awkwardness of some people obviously having more money and therefore giving more expensive gifts? Sounds painful for everyone involved lol.

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