Post # 1
Ah the ever-lasting question. I pose this to you. A friend is getting married in November and is currently looking for alternative ways to honor the gifts a guest will bring without having to sit there for a longtime opening them.
I know it’s tradition and it’s expected (I went through it…I really didn’t enjoy it) but there must be some ways to do this a different way.
Now before you rant off about how inappropriate and unappreciative she is please know 2 things before you respond 1- I know it’s not socially accepted so please, if you have something positive to say, I’d love to hear it…2 – we were at a shower last summer (one of the few she’s been to) and the shower was at the bride’s home. The bridesmaids and mom set the gifts and the bride up in one of the smaller rooms on the first flower. Of the about 70 people that were in attendance….15ish fit in there. Not to mention the insane amount of gifts she got. The rest of us (including the girl I’m asking about) were forced out to the porch and the living room. We saw the bride for about 2 minutes and the only gifts we saw opened were the one we bought and only cause one of her BMs called (literally via phone, not yelled our names) us from across the house to say she’s opening it.
So please…anyone have any suggestions
Post # 3
Going to be honest, I just died a little bit when I read “Knotties I pose this to you”, lol. Honest mistake, I know, but I tend to cringe whenever I think of TK.
Anywho, I dont think that there is really any non-offensive way to go about doing this but what about having all of the guests sit in a circle and each guest opens their neighbors gift? This was done at a baby shower that my Future Mother-In-Law attended where the guest of honor wasn’t in attendance (weird situation). It seemed to work for them but I’m sure if the expecting mother was there, she would have opened her own gifts. Depending on the group of people you’re dealing with, maybe they’ll like participating?
Post # 4
@UpstateCait: OMG I’m mortified.
IGNORE THAT. Sorry she’s at like defcon 5 at the stress level so I posted it on here and TK…in truthfully I find wedding bee much better <3
Post # 5
@saraxj: haha, no worries!!
Post # 6
Hmm, I really am not sure what to do here. Will there really be 70 people like your last shower? Because if there are like 20 people, then you may just have to bite the bullet and open all the presents. A lot of people like to see theirs being opened. I like the idea of everyone opening something… you could do a few people at a time. That way it’s not complete chaos and you can still see items as they are being opened. I dunno, goodluck 🙂
Post # 7
I forget what its called but i’ve heard of showers where you ask people to bring gifts not wrapped and then they are just placed on a table for everyone to view. Its called like a viewing party or something like that. Might be an option…
Post # 8
A display shower – the gifts are set up on a table with gift tags so people could view and admire the gifts. This is very common in my area, mine will be a display 🙂
Post # 9
I think that when you invite someone to a party where they’re expected to give gifts, you owe it to your guests to open each gift and gush over how great it is. If you invite 70+ people to your shower and have to sit there for an hour opening gift after gift, that’s your obligation. If your friend doesn’t want to sit there for an hour, she could invite less people or ask them to give a gift that doesn’t have to be unwrapped, like gift cards or a contribution to some collective gift.
I know it isn’t what you want to hear…
Good luck figuring it out! 🙂
Post # 10
Oh a display shower sounds nice too 🙂
Post # 11
I had a display shower and it worked really well. The invitations said something along the lines of “please bring your gift unwrapped (or with just a bow), so that bride can spend more time with her guests.”
Now, I do think you need to be mindful of the types of guests that will be in attendance – I had 2 showers. The first one was traditional as it was all (many older) family members that wanted to see the gifts opened. My display shower was mostly my girlfriends and some of my mom’s girlfriends. We had it in the early evening and it was more of a cocktail party than a shower. The gifts were displayed on a table in plain view that people could go over and take a look. The host had tags ready made so that when a guest walked in, they would take the gift and write the giver’s name on a tag and attach it to the gift. That way everyone could still see what other people brought.
All of my friends really loved it because we all agree that watching people open up gifts can get kinda boring…
Post # 12
My first shower is in a couple weeks, and I’ve been thinking about this same thing. It’s going to be mostly FI’s family, but of course he won’t be there, and I’m just gonna feel super awkward. I’m sort of hoping Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law have something in mind to avoid this, but I’m probably going to have to be the center of attention and feeling spoiled and weird about it, so oh well. At least there won’t be 70 people there, yikes!
Post # 13
I didn’t want to open my gifts at the shower, so I didn’t.
I was grateful to the recipients by thanking them for coming, spending time with them at the shower and getting my thank you notes out quickly.
Post # 14
I’ve attended a so-called “display” shower. The gifts were just placed on a table unwrapped. But, it was a non-traditional shower that was more like a cocktail party, and included both men and women. It was actually a lot of fun, maybe your friend could do something like this? Truth be told, opening gifts is usually the main event at the shower, so what else are you going to do instead? I’d also take inventory of the types of people you are inviting. If you have a lot of older family member, they might take offense to you not opening gifts. Personally, I couldn’t care less about watching the bride open gifts. I mean, 90% of it has come from the registry anyways so its not like anything is a surprise. I think it would be fine if you had some alternative activity to do instead.
Post # 15
@PrincessBrideSuzy: Thanks for the name. It was driving me crazy!