Post # 1
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
My sister (MOH) is asking me for a list, but I’m not sure exactly who I should / shouldn’t invite. I know that I will only invite those who are definitely invited to the wedding….but
Do I have to include my fiance’s Aunts & female cousins? They don’t live nearby & I am not close with them AT ALL. Is it rude if we don’t include them?
I’m trying to be considerate of the guest list b/c my sister has to pay for it.
Thanks for your advice!
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
I would call your future mother in law and get her opinion. She will probably have a better idea if they will travel or not. Also, some people who are far away still want to be included and they are offended if they don’t get an invite. But others who are far away are offended by getting an invite because it makes them feel like you are trying to get a gift from them even though you know they can’t make the trip. Your Future Mother-In-Law is likely to have a better idea of how her family would react and what they would prefer.
Post # 4
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
@Moose1209: Yah you’re right – I’m just not sure what to do if she says that I should include them b/c then the numbers are going to be too high for my sister. Shoot…
Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
@sagbride: Totally feel free to tell your Future Mother-In-Law that you need to keep the guest list low because of the cost. I had to do the same thing with my Mother-In-Law because she wanted to invite EVERY woman on their side that was invited to the wedding. And they were all pretty local. She ended up paying for part of the shower since she had such a large guest list. Hopefully you can work something out with her : )
Post # 6
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
@Moose1209: You’re right – I guess just being upfront about it will help.
Post # 7
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
@Moose1209: You’re right – I guess just being upfront about it will help.
Post # 8
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
Is his side planning on throwing you a shower? My Maid/Matron of Honor is doing mine on my side and the only people from his side that are invited to that one are my Future Mother-In-Law, his grandmothers, and his sisters. His aunt is throwing me one as well and doing all the rest of their side.
Post # 9
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
@lindsaybrooke24: Not that I know of? His mother isn’t the easiest to figure out. All I know is that my sister/bridesmaids can’t afford to throw a huge shower and by inviting all of his aunts/cousins I’ll have to eliminate some of my friends and that doesn’t make sense to me?
Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
I’d call your Mother-In-Law and talk it over with her. I would include them in the one his aunt is hosting. You should ask your Mother-In-Law and just let her know that the shower hostess need to keep the size limit down because of the location and cost.
Post # 11
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
yeah, I just had to ask, because I was kinda in the same situation…I didnt want to exclude anyone but didnt want my girls to have to spend a ton on a shower! But, I also didnt want to seem like I was ASKING for a shower…so my Maid/Matron of Honor asked her if they had anything planned on their side, turns out they were planning on throwing one & everything worked out. I don’t get a lot of info unless I ask…and I feel weird asking because I dont want anyone to think I’m expecting something… If they arent throwing you one, honestly its who you can afford/want to invite…could you maybe just invite mom, gma, and sisters like I’m doing? and if not, thats perfectly fine!
Post # 12
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
I made it easy and gave a list of ALL females being invited to the wedding to my Maid/Matron of Honor for the shower invites. Truth be told, I don’t expect most of FI’s friends and family to attend as they are either far away or aren’t close to me, but that’s OK. I’d rather extend the offer and have them decline than have them feel left out.
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