(Closed) Bridal shower guests…?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Usually, not always, but usually the groom’s side also hosts a shower. I’m not inviting his side to the one my aunt is throwing. Even though nothing on his side yet.

Post # 3
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Does the host of your shower have any preference on the number of guests?

Post # 5
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I think this is up to you. Showers make me uncomfortable when they’re for me so I would feel awkward opening gifts from FI’s family. His mom wanted to host a shower but I politely declined. We aren’t having any showers so that made it easier because I wasn’t just avoiding her side. Do whatever feels right to you unless you think his family will feel slighted, then you may have to rethink.

Post # 7
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

My shower included my aunts, mom, some friends, along with a few family friends. We also extended an invite to DH’s aunts and a few of their family friends. While I hadn’t met most of the people that were invited from DH’s moms’ guest list, I figured I would rather meet them before the wedding than at it. Honestly, only a couple of them came anyways so it didn’t make any difference in the long run. 

Post # 8
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

mrsfiddlesticks:  Funny that you write that the groom’s side also hosts a shower because I have never heard that, and I’m glad that I never heard that when I was engaged or I would have been sorely disappointed, there is no way that my husband’s family would ever throw any kind of shower for me, roflmao.  hee hee.

DanniBee83:  There really is no right or wrong answer.  It can be intimate or it can include more people.  It really depends both on what the guest of honor prefers, as well as what the host(s) can and want to afford or organize.  I personally know that I would not criticize someone who “excluded” me as a cousin, and I would NOT judge someone who invited me as being gift grabby, but that’s just me, I’m not out to judge.  A lot of people are, but you do what you want and are comfortable with (and again, what the hosts are comfortable with).  Good luck.

Post # 9
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee

I thought that all the women invited to the wedding should also be invited to the bridal shower or one of the bridal showers. Are most of your shower guest list just your closest friends?

Post # 10
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee

We are having a joint “shower” for this reason to avoid the awkwardness.  It’ll also be a nice get together since a lot of those attending cannot attend the wedding.   We are only doing direct family that we are actually close with (aunts and uncles, siblings, parents) and with both our sides combined it is only about 30 invited.

Do what you want!  Nothing wrong with a small shower, or none at all.  We actually weren’t going to have one until my godmother INSISTED.  

Post # 11
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

Where I’m from, it seems like each side hosts a shower for the bride, but for me, I’d rather just do one smaller, more intimate shower with my own family. 

Lokie85:  I kind of thought that was the etiquette of the thing too… but if you’re having a large wedding, that’s a lot of ladies. But in my fam, we don’t do the banquet hall thing, someone always hosts it in their home, so a large group isnt’ really ideal anyways.

Post # 12
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

oh boy I would’ve hated having a separate shower thrown by his side! How awkward.

My mom and Future Mother-In-Law collectively threw my shower and invited most of the women invited to the wedding (except those I told to absolutely not invite… which people who live really far away and I knew they wouldn’t come to it, I didn’t want to seem gift-grabby). There were actually more people from my side who didn’t come than from his. I also have known his family for a long time and every woman on his side, I would run up to at a grocery store and give a big hug to if I saw them. I also don’t think people see it as giving a gift to the bride, but to the couple..right?

I dunno, it was nice. I personally would’ve rather had a smaller shower with my close family/friends but I think a lot of women in his family would’ve been offended if I didn’t invite them. Are you close to your FMIL? Any FSIL’s? I would at least include them.

Post # 13
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

Lokie85:  This is what I thought, too, but I swear no matter what kind of shower it is, there is going to be someone who is all offended at either being left out, or at being invited because that means the guest of honor is “gift grabby”.  So I say do whatever you want as long as it works for the guest or honor and the hosts. 

Post # 14
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee

lareolin:  LOL . You are right.  Then I’d rather let my guest be offended that I wanted to include them! I would Die if someone was offended that I excluded them. 

Post # 15
Member
9646 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Personally I think it’s rude to basically only invite people from your side, unless of course you’re having more than one shower. Don’t you think his mom will be a bit offended?

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