Post # 16
DanniBee83: I had 2 showers for this reason – and knew WAY ahead of time before eitehr were planned that I was going to have 2.
My sister (MOH) hosted one where I invited all female relatives from my side, my friends, and then DH’s mom, his sister (BM in the wedding), and his SIL.
For the other shower, it was thrown by DH’s aunts and female cousns. They invited his Grandma, and female friends/relatives of the family that were not immediate. Also, my mom was invited to this one, too. I’m not sure if my sister was invited ( I would have hoped so!), but she lives 4 hours away and probably wouldn’t have made it anyway.
The only ones that overlapped on being invited to both was my mom, Mother-In-Law, SILs, and maybe my sister (if she was invited to the other one).
If you’re only having one, and know you’re just having the one… I would invite some of his side. Or, have his mom check to see if anyone had talked about hosting one for you.
Post # 17
Lokie85: Good point! I guess this is what I did, albeit unknowingly – but hey, I was actually “gift grabby”! Who knew? Even though to me it was more about celebrating my upcoming marriage, and having people there who were happy for me, I guess to some people it was all about gifts that they thought I did not need. But in all honesty, I appreciated every single gift, but I appreciated a gift so much more from someone who gave because she loves me, as opposed to someone giving out of obligation and then gossiping about me and my shower. I didn’t know that is what showers were about. But oh well!
Post # 18
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I think his aunts will feel left out. I invited all women who were invited to the wedding – especially the family ones. Only ones I didn’t were girls who i was more friends with their husband and who wouldn’t know anyone and had a far distance to travel.
Post # 19
DanniBee83: Personally, I think its rude and could come off as you snubbing his side. I definitely would not want to start a marriage w/his family pissed off at you.
If you’re inviting your aunts, his aunts should also be invited, etc. I would ask FI’s mom who she would like to attend the shower.
Post # 20
Thanks ladies. I guess I just see it differently. I dont agree with the idea that every woman invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. I would have a huge shower, almost as large as my wedding and that would bea huge task for my Maid/Matron of Honor. Every bridal shower Ive been to has been intimate and no mother than 10-20 people. I guess thats what I had in mind and what I wanted. I will have to think about this more.
Thanks again ladies.
Post # 21
DanniBee83: It really depends on what the norm is for your circle. In my family we have HUGE weddings (mine is 250 guests and is fairly “intimate” as I didn’t invite any of my parents’ cousins) but smaller showers. My Maid/Matron of Honor is throwing one with just my closest friends and the women I’m closest to on my mom’s side. Another bridesmaid/cousin is hosting one for that side of the family plus my SILs, Mother-In-Law, and my FI’s closest female cousins. But by no means is every woman invited nor am I expected to invite everyone.
Post # 22
I don’t see a problem with having an intimate shower. I think guests will be relieved that they get to skip it and not offended. Let’s face it, it’s one less gift for them to purchase.
Does your FIs family live in a different city or state? The only showers I’ve known to be held separately by each side are when there is a significant difference in location.