- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
It’s happened just as I knew it would. The first backhanded comment in regards to me having a bridal shower, or should I say my loving and generous Maid/Matron of Honor graciously throwing a shower for me.
A little back story – Fiance is divorced, this is my first marriage. He kept his house and most of what was in it after the divorce which he quickly (and unfortunately) lost to foreclosure. We’ve been living together for 6 years and have a wonderful collection of mismatched tableware, silverware, glassware(which consists mostly of plastic souvenir cups), a knife block with only three sad knives still holding on for dear life, as well as an array of other mismatched, heavily used, ready for retirement home items.
And yet…I’ve had this nagging feeling that I’m not worthy of a bridal shower. Which, until just yesterday, was fueled only by my own self-deprecating thoughts.
While at a graduation party yesterday several of the older women were fawning over me as the soon-to-be-bride asking about the wedding and the dress and the details and going on about congratulating me and it was nice and sweet of them to do. One woman asked if I was having a bridal shower and I said yes, my Maid/Matron of Honor was throwing it and the invites had just gone out. Then it happened, a mutual, female friend who is invited to both the shower and the wedding, turned, not to me, but to my Fiance and said, “Well, you guys won’t need much, really. You still have all the stuff from the house.” Which Fiance just answered with an awkward, “oh, yeah.”
I couldn’t believe it. There it was. Verbal confirmation of my worst fear. It’s possible that it was a harmless comment just said to be said without any snarkiness intended, but yet I’m sitting there thinking to myself, those “things” from his “house” have been used to death over the last 6 years of our relationship, not to mention the years they were used by he and his first wife! How do you think I felt in the beginning of our relationship knowing I was using the stuff his ex-wife received at her bridal shower!? So now, I’m not deserving of a bridal shower just because we have the mismatched, used up, remints of his first marriage back in 2007!!!
I’m feeling bummed, but as the wedding draws nearer I’m receiving more “resistance” if you would, from women in my life that I would have never expected. It’s true that weddings do strange things to women of marrying age who are not yet married.
Have any bee’s been stung by bridal shower or just wedding in general snarkiness? Advice?