Post # 1
I ran into my FI’s grandmother today at work, and she said your aunt (meaning my FI’s aunt) and I want to throw you a bridal shower this November let us know if you are able to do the 16th." I was a bit taken back by this considering that I’m getting married in FEBRUARY. But I tried to roll with it. I said "Okay, but shouldn’t my mother and Maid/Matron of Honor be involved?" She said "Oh, honey, when I got married I had four bridal showers!" This is all fine…I’m glad she’s thinking enough of my fiance and I to throw a shower for me…but, well, here’s my issue with it:
1) This grandmother is actually my FI’s STEP-grandmother (he’s been in their family since he was 10). I want my mother and my FI’s mother to be a part of this along with my Maid/Matron of Honor. I have already talked to my mom about the shower and she’s so excited to be throwing it for me. Not only am I her only daughter, but also her only child.
2) She wants to have it at her house. My Fiance has THREE famiy’s–mom’s side, dad’s side, and step-dad’s side. I have a huge family (mom had six brothers and sisters and dad has 2 brothers who are both a lot older, giving me a lot of much older cousins and second cousins). I’m afraid we won’t have room! Not only will we probably not have room for my family, but my friends (including bridesmaids) probably won’t be able to fit either.
3) Isn’t November a bit early for an END of February wedding?
4) I would just say that my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor could host another shower like a month before the wedding…but I think that would be awkward considering that we ALL live in a small town (yes, my whole FI’s family and my family)…and if we did decide to have two showers, isn’t that a bit redundant?
I don’t want to step on my FI’s step grandma’s toes…but I don’t really think it’s her place to be throwing me my shower.
So, there it is. What do you ladies suggest I do? I’m flattered…but also disappointed because I see drama on the horizon…
Post # 3
November does seem early for a February wedding, but I think people will understand that you don’t really have any control over when the shower is held.
Talk to everyone about it, and figure out what they are thinking. I have a huge family, and when I went to throw my sister’s bridal shower I had conversations with all the moms (actual mom, step mom and FMIL) discussing shower expectations and desires. We ended up throwing two family showers (one for step family, one for our family plus groom’s family), but we invited the mothers to all the showers. Not sure if that will help you, but it isn’t that weird to have multiple showers, as long as you don’t overlap the guest lists.
Post # 4
IT’S AWESOME THAT YOUR FIANCE’S FAMILY IS SO EXCITED THAT THEY WANT TO HAVE THE PARTY EARLY!
It’s not too early really because November isn’t a busy, busy month. People have Christmas in December and will be broke in January…..so November is good month. So let the festivities begin early! Let these ladies have a good time planning a great bridal shower for you!
Excuse me for a second while I think about your great inlaws wanting to give you a party <SIGH – how nice!>
Anyway, let them throw you a bridal shower with that side of the family. Then if she asks you how many people you have, ask her how many she can fit. You can always just have your Mom, grandmother and aunts. Because this will just be the first bridal shower – you can have two.
Post # 5
Having more than one shower allows you to invite different people to different showers. I have three showers, but the only people invited to all three are my mother and grandmother. My bridesmaids were invited to two, but only because my matron of honor gave one, so I had to invite them all to that one and the other because the mom of another bridemaid was part of that one, so I needed to invite her to that one, so I invited all three so no one would feel left out.
If you have that big a family you could invite one part to one shower and another to another shower.
Post # 6
enjoy the fun and, as other posters have mentioned, have different guest lists to avoid anyone feeling like there is a deluge instead of a shower. 🙂 moms should be invited to all, of course.