- 10 years ago
- Wedding: July 2008
Hi bees, I’m in need of some support. Thank you everyone who is taking the time to read this. Sorry this is long.
I politely asked not to be given any bridal showers. My Fiance and I are leaving for Air Force officer training 6 months after our wedding, we don’t really want to have to store anything and keep track of it. Plus, I HATE being the center of attention.
When my mother was told this she totally agreed. My mom does not like bridal showers, she’s a rebel. My Mother-In-Law, however, did not take the news so well. My in-laws and I have had a strained relationship, which I won’t get into. To make a long story short… I caved in and agreed to ONE bridal shower for my in-laws side of the family. Well… one turned into TWO. The second one is exclusively for my mother in law’s friends- who I have never met. I do appreciate their kindness though, and have never complained.
My problem is my in-law’s family shower was this past Saturday. My mother, sister (MOH), and I attended. It was held at my fiance’s Aunt’s lovely house and it was beautifully done. She is amazing and very nice. The shower was attended by my in-laws family, about 20 people. We got their after a few guests had already arrived (which I feel terrible about), and said hello to everyone. After we said hello, everyone broke off into gossiping groups, and left my mom sister, and myself standing awkwardly alone in the living room. We stood there looking out the window for probably an hour. My Mother-In-Law would come over for a second, ask one of us a question, and as soon as we would start answering would turn her head and start talking to one of her family members and walk away. After about an hour of this, they served a wonderful lunch, still no one really spoke directly to us, and we quietly listened to everyone elses conversation. My mom was shooting me looks the entire time. My sister said something a little off color, but funny- and was met with blank stares.
After lunch we opened gifts. This was alright, although I was super nervous. I upset my mother in law during the gift opening. My mother in law bought me a very expensive rolling pin that I did not register for; when I saw it, I whipped it out and said something along the lines of "I’ll keep my fiance in line with this!!!" and smiled. In a very serious tone she told me that is not what that was for and was obviously upset with me. I then apologized and moved on. All the gifts she bought for me were variations of what I registered for from the SAME store. I am grateful for her gifts, I could tell she really put some thought into them, but even my fiance thought it was weird.
After gifts, cake was served. We sat back at our table, and ate our cake. We were ignored for the next hour and a half hour. Although a few people came and spoke with me briefly, no one talked to my mom or sister. My sister by this point was at her breaking point and was becoming borderline rude, and my mom was beginning to roll her eyes. I was embarassed so we then left. My mom and sister shouldn’t have acted like that, I know why they did, but it was rude of them.
My next bridal shower is this Saturday, and to tell you the truth I don’t want to go. My Mother-In-Law sent me an email today apologizing for not being a better hostess- she used the excuse she was busy with her grandchildren. My Mother-In-Law is ALWAYS the way she acted at the shower.
How do I make this shower better? I want to make it ok for my mom and sister, I can tell they’re dreading it (and don’t want either them to misbehave)
Also, when is it acceptable to leave? When we left we had been there for about four and a half hours. No one else had left yet, though. This was more of a family party, than a bridal shower.
Lastly, am I total nut? I appreciated everything and all the thought… I just feel sort of upset that we were ignored. I was really hurt. Was I wrong to be hurt?