Post # 1
My shower is being hosted by my bridesmaids, half of them still live with their parents and the other half live in apartments that are too small to host a shower. They looked into renting out a venue or restaurant but were finding that it was very costly so they approached me about using my home. It is centrally located between everyone (halfway between my family/friends and FI’s family) and large enough to host everyone. I would have no part in the planning/decorating/anything and I would be staying elsewhere that entire weekend while my bridesmaids stayed in my house and organized it all. The invitations would say hosted by my bridesmaids and the return address and person to RSVP to would be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I would also try to arrive slightly after all the guests had already arrived. Would you find this tacky? I don’t want to come off like I’m gift grabby or hosting my own shower, they just want to use my place. I need to give my girls an answer soon and I wanted opinions before I do.
Thanks in advance 🙂
Post # 2
NickysGirl14: I think people who know you will understand the situation.
Post # 3
NickysGirl14: I think it’s fine. Who all would be coming? Would any of them really care or know the traditional etiquette? Honestly, before the Bee, I wouldn’t have even known you weren’t supposed to host your own shower. I think most of the ones I have been to were at the bride’s house.
Post # 4
julies1949: That’s true. I’m mostly worried how it will look to some of FI’s family that I have only met a few times.
Post # 5
I think if your guests understand the situation, you should be fine! My friend’s mom had to have the shower at her house after one of the ladies hosting the shower had a death in the family – and the other lady’s studio apt was too small. It was very clear from the invites and who was running the shower who was hosting. I think this is fine!
Post # 6
MechEBee: Thanks! That’s good to hear. I know none of my friends or family would care but there’s some of his family that will be attending that I don’t know that well so I’m more worried about them.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens
Two years ago I went to a bridal shower (then a baby shower) held at the bride’s house. The invitations were sent out by the person hosting the shower each time, and responses went to that person as well. It never crossed my mind as being “gift grabby.”
Post # 8
I don’t think I would give it a second thought if I was your friend or family member.
Post # 9
I was in a similar situation about a month ago…my friend who was hosting my shower was a 2 hour drive (or more) from all shower attendees. I thought it would be super awkward, but everyone knew the situation (I think my friend explained to everyone when they called to RSVP), and it ended up being totally fine
Post # 10
NickysGirl14: I think you’re fine and not being tacky! I am assuming that it will be pretty obvious at the shower that your BMs are hosting it (listing the gifts, making the hat, making sure guests have food/drink, etc.). I went to a Jack and Jill and a baby shower where each was held at the recipient’s house and no one cared/called it tacky – it was just more practical that way.
Post # 11
hyzenthlay: gelaine22: jen_vdm: MrsNewDay:
Thanks ladies! I’m glad you don’t find it tacky, I originally thought it was okay too but then I made the mistake of looking it up on google. I found a lot of ‘omg no, so tacky’ and then I got worried.
Post # 12
One of my showers was at my husbands house (at the time, FI). His house had plenty of room, and like you, venues were too expensive. My husband happened to be out of town that weekend, so it worked out perfect. It was hosted by my bridesmaids, they did all the invitations and decorating and planning and such…and all the guests loved it because they “wanted to see where I was going to live”.
It was nice! i don’t think people would see it as gift grabby or tacky at all.
Post # 13
I was in a wedding a few years ago where the bridal shower was held at the bride’s house. I didn’t think anything of it, least of all thinking it was gift grabby.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t think twice about going to a shower at someone’s home. I wouldn’t think it was tacky and I think your BMs have made it clear they’re the ones hosting it.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t find this tacky at all. Where I come from, it is really common to have a bridal shower in someone’s home. If not the bride’s home, then a bridesmaid or her mother’s home for sure. Of all of the bridal showers I’ve been to, not a single one has been at a rented location. Finding a venue can get costly and there’s already so much else that goes into planning a shower. As long as you are okay with it, I don’t see why anyone else would have a problem with it!