(Closed) Bridal Shower Invite Etiquette on out of town guests

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’ve been invited to plenty of showers when I was out of town and not planning on going.  I still followed through with ettiquete and sent a gift.  It depends on the guest.  If it’s just and acquantience then I would say no, but a sister,grandma, etc, I think it’s polite to invite them.

Post # 4
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I think the rule of thumb my family has used is  to invite those who are local.  And when you said local females, I was sure if you were thinking close friends and family or any local female who is invited to the wedding.  So I’ll just say showers are supposed to be somewhat intimate.  If your wedding is small that’s one thing, but if inviting every female means inviting ladies from the wedding guest list, whom you don’t really know, or wouldn’t invite to another event at your home, I wouldn’t invite them to the shower.

Post # 5
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’ve been on both sides of this as an out-of-towner.  I received a shower invite for a friend even though I was one of the out-of-towners; she told me she knew I probably wouldnt be able to make it but wanted to include me anyway. It felt nice to be included.  When creating my own shower invite list, I also invited my friends who are out-of-town because it was important to me that they felt invited, even though they knew I didnt expect them to travel for both occasions. I’d rather they make it for the wedding, but I’m sure some of them would have felt hurt if they weren’t invited.  I guess it just depends on how close you are.  

Post # 6
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with MrsB620.  I’ve received invites to be included in a shower that I couldn’t possibly attend; and my mom sent out invites to my Fi’s family even though there was no way they could be there.  I thought it was a nice way to say, "I’m thinking about you, and love having you involved in my life."

Post # 7
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee

We sent invitations to a couple female family members back east knowing there was no way they would come.  Just grandmas, aunts and a cousin. My Future Mother-In-Law sent the invites knowing they couldnt come but wanted them to know theyd obviously be invited if they were in town and wanted to show them the invitation 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with the advice that the shower invite list should be intimate, locals, who are friends of the couple, but that you should also include out of town family members to make them feel included. I really understand your dilemma, and it’s a toughie!

Post # 9
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

What about the out-of-town guests (non family) who aren’t even likely to make it to the wedding?  Should they receive invitations for the shower?  I don’t want them to feel like they are obligated to send a gift.  But they did receive a save-the-date and they will receive a wedding invitation. 

Post # 10
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t know if I did the right thing for my shower – which is in March.  I didn’t invite my fiance’s family that lives out of state.  We wouldn’t have room for them to stay with us.  However I dont think his family is doing a shower for us at all.  Sticky situation – I hope I didn’t offend anyone. 

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