Post # 1
So my Maid/Matron of Honor and mom wanted to throw us a shower. Our wedding is small, our families are small, our bridal party is small. We decided to do a couple’s shower where all the ladies invited can bring their guys, and we also invited the groomsmen and their ladies, and some male family members.
So I sent my Maid/Matron of Honor the invite list and she was excited to take care of invitations. I get the invite today and it says “Join us for a a Bridal Brunch in honor of BRIDE (my name)…. (BRIDE) is registered at Macy’s.”
My fi’s name isn’t even on there!! It looks like something you would send just to ladies for a true BRIDAL shower.
The groomsmen got the invites and are already confused by it. They’re really not interested in coming to a bridal shower for just me. My mom is planning to call the guys we invited to clarify that this is a party for my Fi and I both. She’s also calling the ladies to make sure they know that their men are invited.
I am pretty disappointed and so is my fiancé. My Maid/Matron of Honor said she didn’t even think about the wording! Did anyone have this happen? Any other suggestions to make this less awkward?
Post # 2
That really sucks that you and your mom have to pick up the slack here. Your Maid/Matron of Honor couldn’t Google some examples of couple’s shower invitations? Or, at the very least, ask you? Oh well, it’s water under the bridge now.
I think you and your mother are handling this in the best way you can. Just make a little joke about it at the party how the invitations were goofed (without embarrassing your Maid/Matron of Honor of course!) and I think it’ll be just fine.
Post # 3
I would be just as frustrated with this. One would think to have some common sense to look into that stuff since it’s not a normal bridal shower. Kudos to you and your mom for taking the initiative to clarify with the guests. Although in my opinion, the Maid/Matron of Honor should be the one doing it and apologizing to the guests for screwing the invitations up.
Post # 4
thanks ladies. my mom called mostly everyone to clarify, but I still feel so embarassed about it. my mom is a little more organized so she asked to be the RSVP contact on the invite. so people might think my mom is the one who messed these up! I told her to tell people that my Maid/Matron of Honor took care of invitations and made the mistake. I know that might be embarassing for her, but I don’t feel bad at all.
Shes also planning a bachelorette party that I know nothing about. It is supposed to be a surprise. Is it rude of me to ask for more details from her to make sure she thought everything through?!
Post # 5
Oh man. That really sucks. It’s so annoying when the invitation isn’t clear.
If the bachelorette is supposed to be a surprise, maybe just check in with a couple bridesmaids (or other guests for that) who you trust. You can mention the couple shower mix up and just gently suggest that Maid/Matron of Honor might need some help planning? I don’t know if that’s something you feel comfortable with, but man…. I’d be stressed out about it too.
Post # 6
Yeah, you’re right. It’d be pretty terrible if the woman you asked to do unpaid labor for you made some human errors in her good-faith and loving attempt to support you in your wedding.
Yes, that’s a bit harsh, but I wanted to give you a slight reality check. She made a mistake. It isn’t the end of the world. She’s trying to help, she wants you to have nice experiences with your shower and bachelorette. Maybe cut her a little slack and remember that you aren’t entitled to any of this? That deciding that the time, money, and effort she’s putting in isn’t up to your expectations is a little bit mean?
Post # 7
Thanks for your “tips” (which were not at all helpful in my questions of the post). I have been very grateful for her help and she knows this… I don’t have time to type my every conversation into a post on weddingbee.
No- my expectations aren’t “too high” and I am not being “mean.” The assumption that I am being mean is silly and unjustified- you don’t know how our conversation went when I brought up the error with my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Of course mistakes happen, but the point of this post was to ask for tips on how to smooth things over with my confused guests.