Post # 1
So I’ve been mulling over the list of people to invite to the shower and I thought…let me ask the helpful hive! Do I have to invite guests of Future Mother-In-Law whom she is friends with but whom I’ve never met? I mean…I know I should invite who I want..but wondering what the proper etiquette is. They are FMIL’s wedding guests and I’m fine with inviting them to the wedding on that basis, but do they get a shower invite too? I don’t know them and to me, it sounds gift grubby to invite strangers to the shower. I’m probably waaay overthinking this, I’m just afraid of offending someone by not inviting them…or maybe seeming greedy by inviting them. Oh what to do?!
Post # 3
I think you should ask your FMIL!
I know for my Future Mother-In-Law, she doesn’t have any daughters, so inviting some of her friends to mine is A-ok with me. She won’t really get another chance as one of her sons eloped and the other is not getting married anytime soon!
Post # 4
Oh and some clarification examples:
FMIL’s best friend whom I’ve met before and with whom they vacation: invited
FMIL’s church friends who don’t even know Fiance: not invited
Post # 5
My person opinion–yes, they should get an invite. The only female wedding guests that were not invited to shower were wives/girlfriends of husbands friends (with the exception of a few). You may want to try to softly bring up the subject with Future Mother-In-Law to see how strongly she feels about it…
Post # 6
You should probably invite the local women on your FMIL’s list, but you shouldn’t worry about any who live far away. It actually can be a nice time for you to get to know her friends before the wedding so that day won’t be so awkward. Don’t worry about seeming “greedy”….if they don’t want to come, they won’t!
Post # 7
Are you doing the inviting for your own shower? Why? Somebody else really should be taking care of this other than you.
I’m the MOB and my daughter’s shower will be a surprise, given by the Maid/Matron of Honor & Bridesmaid or Best Man . We’ve invited only those women she is closest to as well as family members. I’ve invited one friend I’ve known for years and who is close to both my daughters. All are invited to the wedding.
Post # 8
@Labor: The ones I’ve actually met I have no problem inviting. It’s just the ones I never met before (and who would probably scratch their heads if they saw an invite to my shower – who the hell is this?!) that I’m not sure of. You ladies are right tho, I’ll check with Future Mother-In-Law.
@smyley: I’m not doing my invites, but to make it easier on my MOHs, I’m giving them a list of names and addresses since they asked. A few of my BMs have had those, leave it up to the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man to decide who to invite, and it got ugly – like people who weren’t invited to the wedding were invited to the shower (and then subsequently added to the wedding invite list)
Post # 9
Sometimes, brides have two showers…one with her family and friends and then one with the FIL’s family and friends.
Post # 10
I have/had the same problem. There are a lot of women on the wedding list that I don’t know. Some are FMIL’s friends, some are my FI’s friends girlfriends but in the end I didn’t invite them to the shower. This whole shower is basically for my Future Mother-In-Law anyway, I’m not having more people that I don’t know! That probably sounds really immature but I can’t help it 🙂