(Closed) Bridal Shower Invites- Am I overreacting? Help Please :(

posted 9 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Should size information be on a bridal shower invitation?
    Yes! People should know what size you are to get you the sexy goods. : (15 votes)
    22 %
    No! That's a bit personal. If they want the details, they can ask for it. : (47 votes)
    69 %
    It doesn't matter either way! : (6 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    530 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I completely understand how you would be upset about the personal information being broadcast. I think it’s frankly kind of a bizarre idea to print someone’s size info on a shower invite. I’ve never heard of such a thing (tho obviously some people have heard of it, or they wouldn’t have done it!). Even my fiance doesn’t have that info.

    As for it being a lingerie shower, this sounds like a case of best intentions…. Even tho it’s not what you’d have most preferred, it was a blunder on the part of the person throwing the party — so try to focus on it as their mistake, and be generous to them. Try to put your focus on the fact that it’s still the intentions are what count. 

    After all, it’s great that all these people are interested in you, in your life, in your happiness. It’s great that they all feel this kindness for yo. That positivity is still true, even if the theme was a bit of a blunder. 

    Post # 4
    7174 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I totally understand where you are coming from, but it’s totally normal for there to be size information on a shower invite.  It’s not out of the ordinary at all.  And, this is not meant to be mean in any way, but other ladies know what size you are (or approximately).  Even though you find it embarrassing, there is NOTHING to be ashamed of.

    It’s very unfortunate that you had no say in the matter – obviously, your friends want you to get into the whole lingerie state of mind (as you stated you are not that type of girl).  Consider this an unsolicited way to spice up your wardrobe.

    I think you are well on your way to feeling better about it by acknowledging why it makes you uncomfortable.  BUT, remind yourself that the friends, family, and associates that attend the shower want to show their love and support for you.  

    If you are mortified with opening gifts in front of people, perhaps you can request that no gifts be opened at the shower (but be prepared for some backlash, as there is the expectation to open gifts).

    Above all, remember that they are trying to do something nice for you, even though it’s certainly not what you envisioned.

    IT WILL BE OK!!!!  Hang in there!!

    Post # 7
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Wow, so glad my BFF checked with me and oked the theme before she did anything!!  That is not something that i feel is bridal shower appropriate (unless its just friends, then by all means go for it!). We’re doing a wine and fondue party, and my BFF did a great job on the invites, she knows me so well!! 

    Hopefully people will make the best of it, but it might have been a good idea to have her ok the theme with you before she sent everything out…

    Post # 8
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    i would be PSSSSSSSDDDDDDD!!!!!  times ten!!!

    plus you said you dont want a lingerie party – be honest and tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable and you really really want homeware stuff – i would


    Post # 11
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    seriously, your stress levels will only get higher if you let those invites go out – do you really want the people you work with to know your underware size???

    just ring her – say you love her for wanting to throw this party but the lingerie party makes you really really freaked out and uncomfortable and you want to enjoy the day, not be sick to your stomach with stress

    sending hugs because as someone that is constantly struggling with my weight its a really personal thing and whether im my current size or 100lbs heavier (which i was) i dont want people to know the size of my knickers – heck, even my hubby doesnt know my panty size!


    Post # 12
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I think it’s totally bizarre to put a person’s size on an invitation.  I’ve never heard of that at all.  I definitely would be surprised and upset about it, too.  I also can’t imagine doing something like that without asking first, like, “Say, you don’t mind if I put your bra size on this invitation, do you?” 

    Post # 13
    563 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I completely understand why you are upset.  It is entirely possible that your SIL had good intentions here, but it is a really bad idea to throw a lingere shower for women with body-image concerns.  That includes skinny girls who watch every crumb, in addition to women who are struggling with their weight.  

    As far as your SIL goes, does she generally treat you with respect?  Or does she have a pattern of veiled insults?


    If you have a very discrete friend, I would put her in charge of requesting that some guests ignore the theme and purchase household goods so that you can receive some gifts you will like. 

    Post # 14
    7053 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think friends should come up and ask you what size you are or else get you a gift card to the places you want them to bring presents from!

    A gift card from Victoria’s S or Agent Provocateur (the new one I like) would work for me! 

    Post # 15
    960 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Wow…I am so sorry that happened to you. I’m a slim girl and an extrovert, but even I would have a problem with invitations that revealed all of that info. Even though your sister-in-law is throwing the shower, she definitely should have checked with you on the theme. Again, I’m a bit of an extrovert, but I would definitely feel weird opening lingerie in front of co-workers.

    As a few have already said, I’m sure her intentions were not malicious. But I do think you should express to her that you’re uncomfortable. All you can really do right now is enjoy it as much as you can. Who knows, maybe now that you have lingerie you (and your future hubby) will learn to love it!

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