(Closed) Bridal Shower Invites, But Not Inviting Them To the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

is it tacky to invite them to the Bridal Shower but not to the wedding?

Yes.

Post # 4
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

To elaborate – if I get an invite to the shower, but not to the wedding, that says to me: “You’re good enough to shake down for gifts, but not good enough to witness my marriage.”

In general, a shower should be a smaller occasion that the wedding itself, because it’s supposed to be only those closest to the bride.

Post # 5
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Anyone you invite to a bridal shower needs to be invited to the wedding. It’s extremely rude not to, and it makes you look gift-grabby.

Post # 6
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@cdimont:I wouldn’t dare invite someone to a shower that isn’t invited to the wedding.  It just screams “I’m greedy give me gifts!!” and “You’re not good enough to come to my wedding but give me shower gifts!” 

 

Just don’t do it.

Post # 9
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If they know they aren’t invited to the wedding and still express that they want to go to your shower, you can do that.   If they have no idea they are not invited to the wedding, it’s really rude.

Post # 10
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@cdimont: I’m not trying to be a jerk, but you knew that when you picked the venue, right? 

If you haven’t sent out save-the-dates, perhaps you could reshuffle so that some of cousins’ kids get dropped and some of your friends get added.

Post # 11
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree that if people know that they aren’t invited to the wedding, but still express themselves that they’d really like to attend your shower, it’s ok on your part to tell them they can come, but I wouldn’t initiate the invitation.

Post # 12
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

How about having an engagement or post-wedding party in place of the huge shower? You’re having a mostly-family wedding. Or MapleBecky’s point is good – if they understand the situation and still want to come, awesome.

You could even spread the word that no gifts are required, you just want a celebration to include the friends who couldn’t be there at the wedding itself.

Post # 14
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You can always invite them to the wedding but not the reception.  Have another party later on or something at your new place.  

 

Yes it is tacky to invite them to the shower and not the wedding.  Good luck!

 

Post # 15
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have been invited to a batchellorette and not the wedding and I had fun, but I knew I was just there to make up numbers 🙂

Post # 16
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@cdimont: Just to make you feel like you aren’t crazy…

I lived in NC for a long time and people actually did do this. So I get why you are asking the question. I don’t know if its a regional thing or what, but I was invited to two showers when I lived there and never received an invite to either wedding.

I personally wouldn’t do it, though; I was kind of offended when that happened, especially because I went to both showers. 

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