(Closed) Bridal Shower Invites to those who can't make it to the shower or wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I wouldn’t invite people you know can’t make it unless they are very close family– for instance, my future sister in law was invited, despite living 2 states away.  But none of my other traveling family was invited. 

As for people who have already declined the wedding– I wouldn’t invite them at all. If you’re worried about alienating them, I would recommend either you, or maybe asking for Future Mother-In-Law, to call them and express your regret that they can’t make it– and that you’re looking forward to meeting them some time in the future.  That way, they get the sentiment that you want to include them, without feeling any obligation to send a gift or anything else.  

I’m not sure where you heard “I have heard over and over, every woman invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower” but this is actually VERY wrong– a shower is an intimate occasion for those closest to you– you should NOT invite every woman on the wedding guest list. 

Post # 5
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009
Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It’s not “every woman invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower,” but rather, “every woman invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding.

The shower invitees should be a smaller subset of the wedding invitees. For the shower, only invite people you are close to whom you think would be likely to be able to come. Inviting out-of-state people, especially if they’ve already RSVP’s no to the wedding, risks looking like a gift-grab. The exception would be someone you’re super close to, who lives far away but whom you want to feel included.

Post # 7
Member
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I was wondering about this too!  We are not at the shower stage yet, but I have tons of Out of Town family/friends and was trying to figure out who to invite while not wanting people to feel left out or obligated to send a gift.

Post # 8
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Not every woman invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the bridaal shower. I have never heard that ‘rule’.  I am not inviting oot guests (they have to soend enough to come to the wedding as is and will be impossible for them to come to the shower too).  I am inviting all the local women that will be invited to the wedding, which will be about 40/50 people.  My guest list is around 150.

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