Post # 1
my Maid/Matron of Honor is my oldest and dearest friend. She’s a great Maid/Matron of Honor to boot. However she’s not a formal gal and tends to write longwinded emails as a way of inviting people to things. She made very crafty invitations for her own wedding but nowadays, email seems to be her way to go.
My bridesmaids are all over country and two outside of the US. They don’t know each other and are not all as connected as she is and find her emails to be confusing and well, LONG. I really want formal (they can be cheap!) invitations to my bridal shower and bachelorette party (they are the same weekend). People are flying in from all over the place to come to Palm Springs and I feel like they should get an invite via mail.
Any thoughts on how to politely discuss this with her? I could be passive and say I have snail mail addresses when she’s ready to send out invites and offer to help her but I think she’ll say "oh, I’m just sending an email" She’s the host so I can’t ask another Bridesmaid or Best Man to help…hmph
Post # 3
It would be nice to have invites for a bridal shower but you really cannot ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to do that for you. This might just be me or my social circle but I have never received a formal invite for a bridal shower or a bachelorette party – I have always received either emails or evites in lieu of formal paper invitations. I never even heard of receiving formal invites for these types of events until I started planning my own wedding.
Post # 4
Yeah I understand that I can’t ask her to do it but if people are not receiving her information and are not able to book travel, would you send a separate email? It’s a little awkward 🙁
Post # 5
I’m the opposite. I have always received written invitations to showers. I can’t say they’re "formal invitations". But they are at least cute, purchased invitations that had written infomation about the shower.
I can appreciate your desire to want mailed invitations to these events. At least the shower. (I’m less experienced with bachelorette parties.) Why is the Maid/Matron of Honor doing all of the hosting? Are the other BMs not hosting at all? While you shouldn’t really be stressed about shower planning, I would suggest maybe asking one of your other bridesmaids to broach the subject with your Maid/Matron of Honor, by e-mail, phone, maybe some fun sky writing 🙂
Something like, "Hi Maid/Matron of Honor, I just wanted to check in about pinwheel’s shower. You’ve been working hard to plan it. I know it’s hard to help from out of town, but I can at least write out the invitations for you." And if Maid/Matron of Honor says, "no need to worry, we’ll send e-vites," your Bridesmaid or Best Man can say something like, "You’re right e-vites are a lot easier. Unfortunately pinwheel has some older aunts who don’t use e-mail. And they’re likely to forget or skip the info off a phone message. I think in the long run written invitations will save us some aggravation. And I can certainly take care of it from Out of Town."
Post # 6
Great suggestion, Tanya123. If you really want written invites then that’s the tactful, considerate way to go.
I would be that ‘evite’ Maid/Matron of Honor and would need to be told that in order to back down. In fact, I think that happened to me years ago when I was planning my cousin’s shower (as a family member, not MOH) but barely remember because it was such a non-issue the way my aunty handled her offer to write the invites out for me. I was just glad to get that and the RSVP off my plate.
Post # 7
Hey, same wedding date, Pinwheel!
Post # 8
If you really want them, you could always buy them yourself and then do the "aw shucks, couldn’t help myself" thing and give them to her to mail. LOL I am so passive.
Post # 9
LOL… KateMW, I was thinking the same thing!