Post # 1
I had my bridal shower this past Saturday. It was beautiful and I had a wonderful time 🙂 Two longtime friends didn’t send regrets to say they weren’t coming, but then never showed. I’m not mad, I’m sure something came up. Both have families and busy lives, but neither has come forward to say “hey, so sorry I couldn’t make it” and I’m hurt. Just wanted to put it out there…
Post # 2
Did they RSVP yes or just not respond to the invitation?
Post # 3
Was it a “regrets only” RSVP? If so, I bet they just forgot about it and forgot to RSVP…unless you know they are the type not to do that. It happens, super shitty manners, but it does happen and it sucks, but it’s not often a deliberate thing. I bet they would / will feel really bad when they remember that they missed it.
Post # 4
the invite was “regrets only” to my Maid/Matron of Honor. She assured me she didn’t hear from either of them. Now I don’t know if I should just wait to hear from them or??? I got an RSVP for the wedding from my one friend that she is coming. Idk…I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt but I’m sure it wasn’t anything done on purpose…
Post # 5
I think regrets only RSVP’s are a bad idea. How do you even know they recieved their invites?
Post # 6
I almost never remember to RSVP to “regrets only”. They probably didn’t even read that part and just assumed since they didn’t RSVP “yes” they weren’t expected to be there. I’ve never understood that. “Only call if you are saying you aren’t coming and have to come up with an excuse to tell the host who you may not even know”. Why? It’s way easier/more friendly to hear the “Yay, I’m looking forward to it!” responses.
Post # 7
One of them I know was coming because I spoke to her but the other one maybe not. Oh well…I guess it’s just something to move on from 🙂
Post # 8
That wasn’t very polite of them.
That being said, regret’s only RSVP’s never go well in my experience.
Post # 9
Mrsderoo42614: It’s ok to be disappointed, but try to focus on the good. Someone (MOH?) Put together a wonderful shower for you, you enjoyed it, probably got gifts and had fun, and even though these two didn’t show up, MANY people did.
Focus on the ALL of the people who showed up FOR YOU and try not to focus on who didn’t. 🙂
Post # 10
If you had asked for a reply and they didn’t show up, I’d have said call to find out if everything is OK and that they are not in a hospital bed somewhere or dealing with some other sudden emergency.
However, I think a “regrets only” invitation just opens you up to people thinking that it’s a casual party and not a big deal if they respond or not. Unfortunately, the potential for misunderstanding is increased if you don’t ask for a reply directly.
Even R.s.v.p can be mistaken for the literal translation “if you please,” leading some people to deduce that responding is optional! “The favor (favour) of a reply is requested by” is somewhat clearer. For a casual event either “please respond by” or “a reply is requested by” are fine.
That’s not to say your friends should not have called. They should have.