(Closed) Bridal shower no-shows…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Did they RSVP yes or just not respond to the invitation?

Post # 3
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Was it a “regrets only” RSVP? If so, I bet they just forgot about it and forgot to RSVP…unless you know they are the type not to do that. It happens, super shitty manners, but it does happen and it sucks, but it’s not often a deliberate thing. I bet they would / will feel really bad when they remember that they missed it. 

I’m sorry. 

Post # 5
8729 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think regrets only RSVP’s are a bad idea. How do you even know they recieved their invites?

Post # 6
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

I almost never remember to RSVP to “regrets only”. They probably didn’t even read that part and just assumed since they didn’t RSVP “yes” they weren’t expected to be there. I’ve never understood that. “Only call if you are saying you aren’t coming and have to come up with an excuse to tell the host who you may not even know”. Why? It’s way easier/more friendly to hear the “Yay, I’m looking forward to it!” responses. 

Post # 8
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

That wasn’t very polite of them.

That being said, regret’s only RSVP’s never go well in my experience.

Post # 9
2511 posts
Sugar bee


Mrsderoo42614:  It’s ok to be disappointed, but try to focus on the good. Someone (MOH?) Put together a wonderful shower for you, you enjoyed it, probably got gifts and had fun, and even though these two didn’t show up, MANY people did.

Focus on the ALL of the people who showed up FOR YOU and try not to focus on who didn’t. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
10385 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

If you had asked for a reply and they didn’t show up, I’d have said call to find out if everything is OK and that they are not  in a hospital bed somewhere or dealing with some other sudden emergency.  

However,  I think a “regrets only” invitation just opens you  up to people thinking that it’s a casual party and  not a big deal if they respond or not.   Unfortunately, the potential for  misunderstanding is increased if  you don’t  ask for a reply directly.  

Even R.s.v.p can be mistaken for the literal translation “if you please,” leading some people to deduce that responding is optional!   “The favor (favour)  of a reply is requested by” is somewhat clearer.   For a casual event either “please respond by” or “a reply is requested by”  are fine.

That’s not to say your friends should not have called.  They should have. 

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