(Closed) bridal shower on FI’s side…what would you do? HELP ADVICE NEEDED

posted 8 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Who should call FMIL?
    Me. : (21 votes)
    55 %
    FI : (9 votes)
    24 %
    MOH : (8 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    1871 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I think that having the Maid/Matron of Honor call is a brilliant idea. Have her call Future Mother-In-Law and tell her that your BMs have been secretly planning a big blowout for you and really, really, want to throw your shower–and a big collective one is a good idea. Future Mother-In-Law will probably say it’s okay–I’d bet that she wanted to do a joint affair because of the stress and the cost of having two events, so if your Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs will spearhead your shower, that will alleviate some of that for Future Mother-In-Law. 

    Post # 5
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I feel like you guys would have seperate sets of friends and family which would make it kind of awkward. Personally, I don’t want to go to a shower combined with someone I don’t know and watch her open presents. I like the idea of saying you just want to have one shower, not two from different sides.

    Post # 6
    1871 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    My instinct would be to stay out of it and wait for her to call you–she’ll probably do that to ask if it’s okay. Just don’t have your Maid/Matron of Honor speak on your behalf, ie say, “I’ve talked it over with MissMichigan and…” Sell it as MOH’s idea. I imagine that your Future Mother-In-Law would respond with something like, “Oh well, I guess that would be okay if you clear it with MissMichigan” and either call you or wait for you to call her with the verdict. It may also turn out that she’ll respond with some other reason why she wants to do a joint affair that might be a good one and cause you to decide to go with things as planned. 

    If you want, you could also have Maid/Matron of Honor call and then call her a day or two later. That might also give you the opportunity to say something to the effect of “I really love Future Sister-In-Law and I’d really love to help plan her shower!” Your Future Mother-In-Law would probably really appreciate that. 

    Post # 13
    2703 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    if I was in your shoes, I would call her myself. only because you had the initial conversation with her and wouldn’t want misinterpretations to be had on her part.

    Post # 15
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would call her myself, you were the one who spoke with her on the phone. If you have someone else call, it will just make it look like your are being sneaky. Just be polite and let her know that in thinking it over, it really wasn’t what you wanted (which is the truth, and there is nothing wrong with that). Good Luck to you. Keep us updated!

    Post # 16
    693 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Tough one, I would call her and break the news.  Surely, she will understand why you changed your mind, plus I doubt that sister will want to share her baby shower either!

    The topic ‘bridal shower on FI’s side…what would you do? HELP ADVICE NEEDED’ is closed to new replies.

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