(Closed) Bridal shower purpose…..

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: To Shower or Not to Shower?
    No, do not have a Shower greedy pants : (13 votes)
    38 %
    Yes, have a Shower because of tradition : (21 votes)
    62 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If you don’t want a shower, don’t have one. I didn’t have one. Your Future Mother-In-Law is being a steamroller and needs to be gently put back in her place.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6355 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Nobody can force you to have a bridal shower. I did not want one either so I am not having one. That’s all there is to it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4925 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I didn’t want a shower either. We’ve been together 7 years, living together for 2. We have a house full of more things than any person should reaonably ever need. It was a really big deal for my famly, his family my mom especially to throw one for me. It made them insanely happy. Honestly,I was very against it because it seemed very greedy to me. It turned out to be very touching and special. It made me happy that they were happy. Also, it as going to either get thrown with me knowing about it, or it would be sprung on me. There was no stopping it. so.. no choice in my case. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve opted not to have one either. We have our own house and well established with everything and don’t need (or want) anything. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I didn’t vote because I don’t think you are being greedy if you have a shower and I don’t think yo should do it just to be traditional either.  My Fiancee bought a house about a year ago so we bought alot of stuff for the house then and also really don’t need stuff so I told my Maid/Matron of Honor I would rather have a lingerie shower or something like that.  I do know my mom will want to throw me a regular shower so we went and registered for some stuff I want to replace but it was definitely a struggle trying to fill up my registery. 

    Showers don’t have to be about gifts it could just be a nice day to hang out with the important women in your life.  If you really don’t want gifts just let your Mother-In-Law know that.  I am sure she is just trying to be nice.

    Either way if you really don’t want a shower don’t have one, there is no sense if feeling guily or uncomfortable!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2905 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I just had my first shower this weekend, and I was really shocked by how generous my friends were and by how genuinely happy they were to attend and celebrate the beginning of this new part of my life. It was also a nice opportunity for everyone to get together and socialize, enjoy yummy food and cocktails and meet some new people – friends from different parts of my life. I think they were happy to give me a meaningful gift – and when I think about the baby and bridal showers I’ve attended, I have always been really happy to give them a gift and celebrate my friend, regardless of how well established their household is. You can always keep the guest list to your close friends, who will view it as a joy rather than an obligation, and make sure to register for some inexpensive things – a picnic basket, a nice cutting board, smaller things that won’t break the bank for your friends but will let them gift you something that you will love and use in your married life. 

    That said, if you really don’t want a shower, that’s fine and everyone should respect that. But most guests won’t see it as gift grabby, they will see it as a chance to celebrate and enjoy. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    905 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Perhaps accept the shower as a party to celebrate the upcoming wedding but request that in lieu of gifts guests donate to a favorite charity of yours? That way they give a gift of some sort (if they feel inclined) but you don’t feel like you’re asking for things you already own.

    If you’re still uncomfortable with it, though, just stand your ground. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @teresa6138:  Oh yeah just cash and gift cards does take it to another level of weird.  In that case I would just say either no gifts, gift card or money, or no shower.  Ultimately it is your shower and it should be done that way you want it to be done.

    But please dont think you are being greedy if people do get you gifts.  I would have no problem buying you a gift even if you have been together that long! You are still a bride!

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @teresa6138:  

    @ArtDecoDC:   That is a great idea and also a good compromise for you and your mother in law!  I may steal that for one of my showers!

    Post # 15
    Member
    9691 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    You could also have a different type of shower, that doesn’t involve gifts.  You could have everyone bring their favorite 2 recipes and your Maid/Matron of Honor could create a recipe book for you.  Or do another theme where the focus isn’t on material gifts.  If you like wine you could do a wine party and have everyone bring 1 bottle so you can stock your bar, etc.  Or you can just have a luncheon without gifts.

    If you’re uncomfortable with a party in your honor at all then just don’t have one.  You’re not required to have one.

    The topic ‘Bridal shower purpose…..’ is closed to new replies.

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