Post # 1
So, my future mother-in-law is going to be hosting my bridal shower.
I’m not at all familiar with American bridal shower customs. Is my mom supposed to help her? Or one of my bridesmaids? How many people can I ask her to invite? How much in advance is the bridal shower usually held before the wedding? Are older women (i.e. my mom’s generation) usually invited? Am I supposed to offer to help or bring stuff?
Thanks so much, bees!
Post # 3
The bride normally doesn’t do anything. Shower’s are can be hosted by a number of different people. Your mom only needs to help if your Future Mother-In-Law asks, it’s always nice to at least offer to help. The biggest shower i’ve been to had about 30 women. I invited 23 to mine. Showers can be done anywhere from a couple weeks prior to the wedding, to a few months before (mine is a month before) Yes, invite the women members of your mom’s family, no matter how old. 🙂
There will probably be finger food, games, and presents. If your family isn’t strict, alcohol can also be had.
I hope this helps!
Post # 4
The showers are usually a little dressier, but not fancy. So go buy a cute outfit!
Post # 5
It’s always nice for your mother and bridal party to offer to help host. Your Future Mother-In-Law will probably tell you who it’s for but I’m guessing it’s more for your FI’s family since she’s hosting. The timing can vary greatly but I would generally think about 2-3 months before the wedding. Have fun!
Post # 6
It’s really individual! Generally your Mom won’t help her, since it’s an event for you to get gifts at. Generally the bridesmaids do help a LOT! But if your Future Mother-In-Law wants to do it with no help, that’s her decision!
If you’re very comfortable with her, you can give her a list of people… But I personally wouldn’t unless she asks for one! I think the shower is generally around three months before the wedding. I’ve always seen a mixed audience at showers! Any female invited to the wedding that lives near the shower location!
You can definitely offer to bring stuff! But if she says “No, it’s okay!” Listen to her! She’s throwing you an AWESOME party!
Post # 7
Thank you so much. She asked who I wanted to invite — so how many people would be appropriate to include on my guest list? Should I just include my bridesmaids and female family members or also include all my female friends who are invited to the wedding?
Post # 8
@36goldfish: Ask her how many people she’s comfortable with hosting. Minimum it should be your bridesmaids and close female relatives. If she’s ready, willing & able to do a bigger shower, though, you can extend it to others… but anyone invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding.
Post # 9
Thanks! 3 out of 5 of my bridesmaids live out of state, so I’m thinking of inviting the 2 bridesmaids who live locally plus a handful of friends and family.