Post # 1

Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
So my bridal shower is supposed to be *finger quotes* “a surprise”…eventhough I gave my Maid/Matron of Honor and mom available dates, a guest list, dessert preferences and was actively looking for a dress LOL. I just don’t know WHEN it’s going to be. I’ve narrowed it down to a couple weekends in September.
Anyway, I’d like to still keep a surprise element to it and put it out of my head, but normally on the weekend (unless I know I’m going somewhere), I knock around in gym apparel and my hair is eh. I’d like to be prepared to some extent. Actually, I’d prefer to get my haircut that morning and blown out, since I’ll need a trim next month anyway. I thought about giving my mom the dress and shoes I planned on wearing, but then what, change in the bathroom of a restaurant? LOL…
Has this been anyone’s experience before? How did you get around it?
Post # 2

Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
The thought of being ambushed by a bridal shower stresses me out. I have never heard of a bride being unaware of what date her shower would be. I would definitelty expect to know.
Post # 3

Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
I wouldn’t exactly call it an ambush, since I have some idea and I’ve been saying repeatedly, “don’t tell me!” I already know too much.
Post # 4

Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper
theshannondee: ditto. Just ask them when it will be, I think it is pretty standard to know!
Post # 5

Member
4888 posts
Honey bee
Most bridal showers aren’t a surprise, since the details of the date (that accomodates everyone involved) and who to invite need to come from the bride.
But, everyone is different!
Post # 6

Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
*sighs*
If I wanted to know that, I would have asked a long time ago. I don’t know when and where it will be and according to the OP, would like to keep it that way.
I asked if anyone had a similar experience and how did you work it out, not “should I just have them tell me the date?” Per the OP, “I’d still like to keep a surprise element to it and put it out of my head…” <br />
I’ll reword it: If your bridal shower was a surprise or somewhat of a surprise, how did you take care of dressing appropriately for the occasion? Or did you just show up as is and deal with it?
Post # 7

Member
6105 posts
Bee Keeper
Why exactly would the date of your bridal shower be a surprise? Is this something that most people do? You either just suck it up and ask them or you have to be caught off guard the day of. It all seems a little silly to me though.
Post # 8

Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee
Who is hosting your shower ? If wearing a particular outfit for your shower is that important to you, then I would simply ask the hostess to tell you maybe, the day before or the morning of, so you can dress accordingly.
Post # 9

Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
- Wedding: October 2014 - Bartram\'s Garden
BurlapnLace: WOW, I am in the same boat! I literally am such a control freak, I went out and got an outfit with one of my BM’s, asking the whole time, “Is this too formal? Is this fun enough? Which suits the venue best?” I have packed a bag with my outfit, hair products and jewelry ready to go, and my FH is responsible for packing the bag in the car without my knowledge, on the day of the party. I also put him under strict orders to make sure I don’t look haggard before I get in the car, which I can relate, on the weekends, is certainly a chore in and of itself! I’m sure I’ll find out at some point what’s going on, because duh.. but it is fun to at least try, right? Even if you come off as a crazy control freak, like me 🙂
Post # 10

Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
angelinamarie: OMG THANK YOU for actually reading the post and responding accordingly lol!!! I was about to check out of this thread entirely after one more “why don’t you just ask”. That’s sort of what I had in mind, I was going to leave what I plan on wearing with my mom or Maid/Matron of Honor and just change wherever we go. But how awkward to change in a public restaurant bathroom! Seems like a bit of a hassle but it is what it is I suppose!
I can see it now, they forget the dress and I’ll be in yoga pants and a tee shirt the whole time haha!
Post # 11

Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
You want to control all these little aspects before your shower, but you don’t want to know when the actual shower will be? Please report back and let us know how that all turns out.
Post # 12

Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
Xu: Yeah, I do. I want to control what I’m wearing and what I look like. Wild concept, right?
PS anything I “controlled” were things I were directly asked by my bridal party and my replies were, “IDK, whatever is easiest and cost effective.”
Post # 13

Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
- Wedding: October 2014 - Bartram\'s Garden
BurlapnLace: I totally feel you!! Honestly, it’s awkward, but for me at least, it’s worth it to look back on all the photos on all the different social media and see something nice, rather than a hot mess haha. But, to each her own. 🙂 Good luck!!!!
Post # 14

Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
angelinamarie: I agree! There’s no way I’m showing up in sweats looking like I usually do on the weekend.
I’m pretty sure I’ll know once my Fiance suggests we go to lunch or brunch instead of the gym like we usually do Saturday/Sunday mornings. Watch – hair, makeup, dress, and we end up running errands like going to Home Depot and Costco lol.
Post # 15

Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
you have a few options –
1) from now till the wedding never leave the house without full makeup and a dress on
2) just ask and get over the surprise part (which is already a little silly since you know its one of three weekends… I can’t imagine when you get invited to your great aunt gertrudes 90th birthday that no one has even met or mentioned its going to be too hard to figure out)
3) just go in what you are wearing and be ok with it