(Closed) Bridal Shower Thankyous and Gifts

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would give the same gift to all of your girls.

As far as time frame for the thank you notes, there was a poll on here and most people sent them within 1 week.  Do them as soon as you can!

Post # 4
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee

I think that #1 you are way too involved in the behind the scenes planning of your own shower.  You should not base who to send the chocolates to, based on who owes what other bridesmaid money, and who did what. 

I would send them all the same thing, because people probably will find out at some point that you gave 1 jewelry, and 2 chocolates, and one nothing, and then there will be hurt feelings.

As for your Thank You notes, send them as soon as possible.  I’d say you have a few weeks before people start noticing their untimeliness.

Post # 5
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

With regards to your thank you notes: give yourself a 1-month MAX deadline. I sent mine within a week of the shower. My Mom always said to me that the sooner the thank you note is received, the more gratitude is perceived by the giver. Whether that’s true or not, I always stick by that rule!

About the gifts: you shouldn’t play favorites even if deserved. Send the same thank you gift to each bridesmaid regardless of their participation. That is the most gracious thing to do!

Post # 6
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

One girl footed the bill, i get her getting something niceer up until you mention the other girls are paying her back.

One girl did all the cooking, and you want to send her chocolate!?! WHAT?!?! Do you not realize cooking and making many diferent things for a party full of people takes lots of work, and planning.

The one that did all the decorating and favours, Again thats alot of work. 

And on top of it they all traveled to attend these things. i don’t think chocolates cut it, and quite frankly when these other girls find out about the thank you gift difference, you will be out 3 friends.

Post # 7
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s rude to tier your thank you gifts.  When they inevitably find out you got a nice jewelry gift for one, and just chocolates for the others, there will be hurt feelings.  By the way, they traveled across several states to be there for a shower – that’s above and beyond already, if you ask me.  

I will not be asking my BMs who paid what and how much for anything related to the shower.  I think it’s rude, and not my place to know.  I trust them to make a fair arrangement for them, and I will thank them all equally.

Post # 8
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

What you should have done was give them all chocolates as a thank you for your shower. And then when you give the gifts to thank them each for everything with being in your wedding (which should be all catered to their individual likes and dislikes) gotten the girl you think deserved the more expensive thank you then, and played it off that they all cost the same!

Post # 10
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee

@JaneDomani:  The additional information doesn’t make me change my mind.  Don’t tier your thank yous.  They organized a shower (which isn’t required) and travelled to be there.  That is already worthy of a thank you gift in my mind.

Also, just an FYI may people, myself included do NOT think that giving any portion of the uniform for your wedding to be a gift for the Bridesmaid or Best Man.  If you are wanting them to have matching jewelery, you should be paying for it.  A gift is something that benefits the BMs and is something to THEIR tastes, not something that fits your vision.

The topic ‘Bridal Shower Thankyous and Gifts’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors