(Closed) Bridal Shower Theme is not my style

posted 10 years ago in Themes
Post # 3
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

 

Maybe they really don’t know what you would like.  Even the most well-meaning family can be clueless.  I’m sure they didn’t intentionally pick a theme that you wouldn’t like.  Like you I would prefer not to wear any "silly props" either, but if I were in your position (and don’t think I won’t be when it’s my turn for a shower!) I’d try my best to be a good sport.  If you are really uncomfortable with anything they might want you to wear or do during the shower, I would raisethese concerns before the shower.  It’s too late once the guests have arrived.  You will only look like the ungrateful bad guy if you make a scene at that point.  

The decorations aren’t what is most important.  Enjoy that your friends and family have gathered in you honor and have a great time!

Post # 4
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I feel your pain. Somehow the process of celebrating the bride has become most undignified. Like I seriously want to walk around a bar in a veil covered with tiny plastic penises? Come on. I don’t want any stupid games or stupid hats or to bore the other guests to death by forcing them to watch me open gifts for two hours. Why can’t we just have a nice, simple lunch with a group of women we love and respect?

Post # 5
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Like Soon2BeMrsC, I don’t think the family did this intentionally to give you a shower in a style you wouldn’t like. It could be that the women hosting your shower are doing a "cutesy" shower theme because that’s what they see at every bridal shower they attend – most of them are cutesy with ridiculous games. If you think they might be planning annoying shower games and you’ll be embarrassed,  tell them well in advance that you’re a little nervous about being the center of attention at the shower and you’re hoping to keep things a little more low-key to calm yourself a little. I wouldn’t tell them that the style they’ve picked for the shower is "not you" and that you’d like them to change the entire theme. They’re being generous in throwing you a shower, and telling them to change the theme that you don’t like will make you come across as a bit ungrateful. Don’t stress about the things you can’t control, be appreciative of the work you’re doing, and let yourself enjoy being with guests you enjoy at the shower.

Post # 6
Member
14 posts
Newbee

I agree with Caroline.  I just had my bachelorette party and had to wear a penis crown, boa and drink out of penis straws.   I looked ridiculous!  Luckily there was plenty of alcohol there for me to forget about it and it ended up being a great time!  They are being nice throwing the shower for you and maybe if you tell them beforehad what you really want they can make the appropriate changes.  I actually told the girls I didn’t want to wear a penis veil, but never mentioned a crown, etc., you never really know what is going to happen.  In the end just try and enjoy it and remember this only happens once in a lifetime.

Post # 7
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

A penis crown and veil? Wow. I agree with the first post. I don’t think they are throwing this shower to embarrass you, and usually people try to center their theme around the bride’s personality or throw a fairly generic or non-specific shower. If they don’t know what you like, it’s too bad that they didn’t ask, but it is the thought that counts. There’s really not much you can do about it since the plans have already been set in motion and it would be really mean to say something about it. Just try not to feel too offended – it seems like they mean well. You might end up having a really good time.

Post # 8
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

Although the shower may not be your style I truly think you’ll have fun.  I recently graduated from law school and my parents wanted to throw me a party.  Because I was in finals, I didn’t have time to supervise anything so I just told my mom what sort of party I wanted.  I’m the kind of person who knows exactly what I like and what I don’t like so I gave my mom a lot of options and suggestions.  Well, in the end my mom pretty much did the opposite of everything I wanted and/or liked, (I won’t get into the details).  At first I was kind of mad because it did not at all represent my style or who I am, it was totally my mom.  But the thing is, after all was said and done, I had SO MUCH FUN.  At the end of the night I was just so overwhelmed that my mom went through so much trouble to make me happy, (in her own way).  I think it’ll be the same for you.  Just remember that everything done for you is out of love and not to make you unhappy.  Just try to have fun.   

Post # 9
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have to agree with the previous posts. Your friends are probably doing this because this is what they feel a shower should be. But the fact remains, they are doing a lot of work to plan these festivities to honour you and "shower" you with gifts (and love)! So you may have to be gracious and see the day for what it is: an outpouring of love at a party thrown for you by other people.

If you have reservations or concerns about it, speak up before the shower, as soon as possible. I like the suggestion of loveatfirstsitelover, to mention that you want something low-key to avoid being the centre of attention, but DO NOT tell them the shower theme is not "you".

Post # 10
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

P.S. I hope you have fun whatever happens!

Post # 11
Member
7 posts
Newbee

I’m thinking it was probably not intentional….but I understand your concern!  For every shower I’ve had, the hostesses asked what kind of theme I wanted, if any!  They probably just thought it would be cute and/or funny or whatever….I’d just go with it.  I had serious reservations about a family shower thrown for me and while it wasn’t ideal, it ended up being a lot nicer than I thought……

Post # 13
Member
39 posts
Newbee

oh yeah, i had foreseen something similar happening with me.  so i told my bridesmaids very clearly that i absolutely DETEST DETEST DETEST bridal shower games (i.e. toilet paper bride and any other typical crafts-type or question games).  thankfully, my words didn’t fall on deaf ears 🙂

Post # 15
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

Oh, I can completely understand (from a Bridesmaid or Best Man point of view.)  Different brides like celebration in different ways.  I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man to a friend that told me SPECIFICALLY NO PENIS, NO NAKED MEN, AND NO OVERLY EMBARASSING CHEESY STUFF.  While I know people are probably thinking, "wow, she’s such a prude!"  I think by her telling the bridal party, it helped save some not-so-happy moments afterwards.  And I think all her bms were glad that she was honest with us! 

Post # 16
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Whaaat? Someone will be announcing her pregnancy during the shower? Is she nuts, self-absorbed or rude?! And your mom thinks it’s a great idea? Is your mom nuts? … That, I think, is faaaar worse than an ill-advised themed shower.

Maybe you should gently ask your SIL not to announce during the shower. That is the height of rude. Or ask your mom to ask her not to announce it during your shower. Or (be sarcastic) and ask SIL if she’d rather the shower be her baby shower. Okay, you can’t do the last point. But the first two are fine.

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