Post # 1
Hi Bees! So my bridesmaids are hoping to host a bridal shower for me but can’t find a time to do it! Two out of three of my maids live in another state, my Mom lives across the country, my aunts are in a different state as well, and there just isn’t a weekend that everyone could make it! In fact, there’s not a weekend where more than 4 of the 12 people I want to invite to my shower could make it.
The only date that seems to work is either the Thursday night or Friday afternoon before my Saturday wedding. Would it be terrible for my bridal shower to be the day before my wedding? All of the ettiquette advice I can find says it’s bad to ask guests to buy two gifts (one for the wedding, one for the shower) that close together.
Post # 3
Hi wedding date twin! I’m also having issues planning the shower and trying to get everyone in the same place. I was thinking of doing it Wednesday evening before the wedding, but now I think I’ll do it a full week before the wedding, as I’ll be flying in to where the majority of my family is. One of my sisters (MOH) and three of my bridesmaids won’t be there, but I’m doing it to spend time with family I don’t get to see as often, and I’ll get to see my bridesmaids plenty during the wedding activities. Also, I’ll be keeping it short, casual, and in the morning/early afternoon so I’m not hogging two weekends in a row of people’s time.
I’m not sure how your family is, but many of the older women in my family would be upset if they didn’t have the chance to throw me a shower and give a gift before the wedding. So it might be a little against etiquette to do so, but they might just be excited to celebrate with you, knowing it’s hard to get everyone together at the same time.
Post # 4
@BrideAliBean: If that’s when it works, I don’t see why not, so long as people know? one of mine is 2-3 weeks before the wedding, because that is the only other weekend that works for allt he key people (me, my sister, my mother)
Post # 5
I saw have the shower. If people can’t afford to get you two presents, they will get you one. Or none. A late shower is perfectly acceptable in this situation. Maybe you could instead call it a ‘bridal tea’ or something along those lines, so you can have girl time but wont pressure your guests (I feel most would bring presents to the shower but it wouldn’t be awkward if someone didn’t). Also, for out of town guests, a shower might be difficult, as they are supposed to bring a physical gift. At a bridal tea it would be acceptable to gift money or gift cards, which would be convenient for your guests.
I am by no means an etiquette guru, but this is how I feel, and how I think most would feel