Bridal shower/ wedding date conflicts!?!

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
neveah66 :  I have never heard of anyone having a bridal shower a day before their wedding???? Traditionally it’s 2 months before the wedding you should really mention that because having a bridal shower a day before the wedding sounds so stressful , I wouldn’t be able to do this. I’m assuming she’s not having a rehearsal dinner the night before? 

Post # 18
Member
13614 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would not agree to host a shower the day before the wedding. That’s two gift giving events in two days, which is pretty inconsiderate, don’t you think? If that’s really the one and only time she can do it, in her place I’d opt to do without.

As for the birthday, even tiny little children know how to delay gratification for a party. 

Post # 19
Member
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

It didn’t matter your reasons (which, on the scale of good reasons, “it’s my birthday” is pretty low), but if YOU are offering to host a shower in honour of the bride it’s poor form for her to turn round and demand one specific day -especially when it clashes with plans you have already made. Yes, consult with her, but if none of the days between now and the wedding work for both of you then, oh well, no shower.

I would have just said “I’m already busy that day, how about X? Or y?”, Rather than make it about your birthday. 

 

As pp have mentioned, the shower the day before I’d also a big imposition on guests with two gift giving parties on the same paycheck.

Post # 21
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

See, I disagree with pps a little. Yes it’s just a birthday but you already had plans set for it (presumably involving other people) before she told you the date. It’s pretty rude of her to insist on a date for a party she isn’t hosting when she already knew you had plans.

I think you’re entitled to give her some pushback on this. It’s not the wedding you want her to change, you have no say in that. It’s the party you’ve opted to host for her and as such you’re allowed to have a very large say in when it happens

Post # 22
Member
282 posts
Helper bee

Just move your birthday/wedding shower plans to the weekend after. I get that this could be a minor let-down, but the remedy isn’t so difficult.

Post # 23
Member
2518 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
neveah66 :  The whole birthday thing apart, it seems pretty weird that she is insisting on doing the bridal shower the day before her wedding, I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. She’s also expecting a lot of people to dedicate two days in a row to her, which is a little inconsiderate in my opinion. 

Post # 24
Member
3233 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Girl. This is your best friend and her WEDDING. Celebrate your birthday a day early this one year. 

eta: from your updates, you seem like you’re being a great friend. Props to you 🙂

Post # 25
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
neveah66 :  First, paragraphs are your friend, not ellipsis.

Second, OK so you had a tough year and want to celebrate your birthday.  Planning for months though, that seems a little over the top.  And just as no one is excited for your wedding as you are, the same can be said for your birthday.

I too think it’s weird to have the shower the day before the wedding but maybe your friend has reasons for it.  And unless her shower is literally an all day celebration, you can still go out and celebrate your birthday.

I’d go along with your friend on this one.

Post # 27
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
neveah66 :  Birthdays are not really an event for many people. You were born. Congrats you didn’t die. My good friend got married on my birthday. It was really fun. I get to celebrate their love and marriage, plus all my friends are already there and they wished me a happy birthday and we ate cake, drank champagne and danced all night. At least for me, all I ever want to do on my birthday is to hang out with my favorite people and feel blessed that I have them in my life and that yes, I made it another year and I am in their lives. I don’t need to be the center of attention or anything, just love.

 

Post # 29
Member
3233 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

OK so this is why you should put the relevant details into your original post. If you have plans to go skydiving and the cost is nonrefundable, then you already have plans for the day before the wedding and you are unable to host a bridal shower that day.

You can’t expect her to plan her event around you, but you are free to tell her you can’t attend because you already have plans that can’t be changed.

Post # 30
Member
2485 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

This is really a non-issue. Either move your birthday plans to a different day, or tell her you don’t want to host/attend the shower. 

IMO, birthdays after childhood aren’t a huge deal anymore. I rarely celebrate my birthday on my actual birthday date anyways. She sounds like a really really close friend so I would put her wedding events first. 

I’m not really sure what you want out of this thread, honestly…it sounds like you’ve made your mind up to just move your birthday events and go ahead with the shower/wedding, so just do that then. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors