Post # 1
My fiance and I have opted to have an extremely small (16) wedding with JUST our families because of multiple things, mostly finances but also because I have anxiety about how I’ll feel on my wedding day. My Dad has passed and every time I think about walking down the aisle I get emotional and kind of sick to my stomach. Anyway, a small wedding just makes sense to us. However, my sister has decided to throw a bridal shower. She talked to some of my girlfriends and they really wanted to do something for me even though they aren’t coming to the wedding. I feel a little uncomfortable with this but I appreciate the gesture and I want to be gracious. My question is, I have thought about adding a little “Note from the Bride” with the shower invitations that my sister will be sending out, explaining that we are having a family-only wedding. I just don’t want anyone to be caught off guard when they were invited to the shower and not the wedding and I want them to be able to decide if they want to be a part or not, based on that information. What do you bees think?
Post # 2
Maybe do a bridal tea or luncheon instead? I’d be uncomfortable asking for gifts from people not invited to the wedding or reception.
Also, I’m sorry about your dad and think an intimate wedding sounds lovely.
Post # 3
Agree with PP. A bridal tea or luncheon sounds like a lovely way to celebrate. Essentially a non gift giving event. Your friends sound very sweet and understanding but it is still not appropriate to ask for gifts from anyone who is not invited to thew edding.
Post # 4
I would thank my sister but tell her it’s inappropriate to have a shower when you aren’t inviting any of these women to the wedding.
You could have a bridal tea (no gifts) if you really want, but nothing more.
Post # 5
When someone else is throwing you a bridal shower, YOU are not asking for gifts. So I think it’s fine. I hate hearing that “gift grabby” term or what you are “supposed” to do for a wedding! It’s your wedding, celebrate however way you want, with whomever you want. Nothing wrong with someone throwing you a bridal shower, bachelorette pary, post reception party, or whatever. Don’t stress those things because life is entirely too short to be thinking about what other people think you should or shouldn’t do. JMO
Post # 6
Yes, agree other pps that a not-shower would be better , though if you know for certain that the invitees are fine about not being invited to the wedding it probably will be OK any way . Nice of you to care though!
PS you are not eloping, nothing like it, it just a (normal) small wedding. An actual elopement would not be known about let alone have a shower, so no probs there.