(Closed) Bridal Shower when theres no date set,and the groom is texting another woman

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I pull out of hosting this bridal shower?
    yes : (53 votes)
    83 %
    no : (11 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @audoneout86:  Regardless of circumstances, she chose to get married already and there is not another ceremony/wedding in sight, so I don’t see the need for a bridal shower right now. Honestly, this seems really gift grabby. If she were having a formal ceremony/reception in a few months and things were planned, it might be different, but I personally wouldn’t host one for her now.

    Whether or not you think they will stay together is irrevelant. People get divorced all the time, but stil have a shower and wedding.

    You can tell her that you would be happy to throw her one when her wedding date is set/gets closer.


    Post # 4
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    OK, but… they ARE married. The real wedding already happened; the second one will be the fake. (Unless they drag out that old chestnut, “vow renewal.”) You shouldn’t host a bridal shower that you can’t afford, though. It sounds like you need to chat with the bride about that and explain that you just don’t have the resources available to do what she wants.

    Post # 5
    2616 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    i wouldnt host a bridal shower but maybe a farewell get together

    Post # 6
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If you don’t want to host a shower (for any reason), just say no! She can’t ask you to host–you or someone else can volunteer, but she really shouldn’t ask. 

    Post # 7
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No would should “ask” another to throw a shower! I wouldn’t call it a shower…I would call it a party and somewhere in the invite mention they married on such and such date.

    Their circumstances are between them. If you don’t feel comfortable celebrating for them, which I totally get, tell her, at this time, it’s not an option for you to host anything and just buy her a gift card.

    Post # 8
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    She’s already married…I think it’s in poor taste to ask someone to throw you a shower ad-hoc? Tell her you’re happy to plan her reception when the time comes but you can’t commit to hosting a shower because you’re busy with personal issues or something. You have to feed your mom’s cat and you might hve a yeast infection or something, if she’s that into getting gifts she’ll just ask someone else.

    Post # 11
    2122 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

    I said no, but I meant ‘yes’ to ‘no bridal shower’. Sorry I can’t read X(

    Hmm.. doesn’t sound like great start to a wedding at all!

    Post # 12
    8731 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @MrsYoshida:  I did the same thing.

    She is already married and isn’t having a vow renewal for sometime. If anything throw them a party to celebrate their nuputials but I don’t think gifts should be expected.

    Post # 13
    4692 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    Yeham I wouldn’t be comfortable with that either. And she ASKED you to throw her a shower? Weird and grabby.

    Post # 14
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I didn’t even need to read your full post. If she is already married (quicky vow exchange or otherwise) she does nto get a bridal shower. Showers come before marriage not after. It’s horribly rude that she ASKED you to throw her one anyway. You are under no obligation to do so. It’s also incredibly tacky that they are planning on havinga fake wedding in a couple years but whatever that’s not your fault. I’d run for the hill and dissassociate yourself from this whole mess.

    Post # 15
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would just explain to her that you cannot do it, without getting into personal beliefs about the state of her relationship. Just say you’re sorry, but you’re unable to do it.

    Post # 16
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @audoneout86:  if she’s already married it isn’t really a shower, is it?

    The topic ‘Bridal Shower when theres no date set,and the groom is texting another woman’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors