(Closed) bridal shower, who hosts?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

The invites should probably say that your Maid/Matron of Honor and Future Mother-In-Law are hosting because technically if you follow the etiquitte rules, your family shouldn’t host a shower because it looks like they are trying to get you presents, something like that.  Some people would say even your Future Mother-In-Law shouldn’t be the host.  A lot of moms and sisters are more like behind the scenes hosts though.  Just let your mom know that you know and appreciate everything she is doing for the shower, but you just left her name off for appearances sake.  And put your MOH’s contact info for rsvps if she’s cool with that.

Post # 4
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think the shower invites have to be so formal as to say who is hosting. I usually assume whoever is taking the RSVPs by phone is hosting. I would put all three numbers on the bottom. A lot of people’s mom’s throw the showers now. The no-mom-shower thing was from back in the day when brides came with dowries and it looked as if the bride’s family was gathering up a dowry through the wedding shower.

Post # 5
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t even put who is hosting it on the invite….I would put something like “You’re invited to the Bridal Shower for (insert bride) and then give the details about the event as far as location, time, theme if there is one, etc.

In my sister’s case…the BMs are throwing the shower. Usually it’s a non-family member that hosts showers (bridal, baby, or other) for reasons already stated by posters above me….

Post # 6
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with whitesonnet.  Also, it will make your mom feel special if you are able to include her like that.  As you said, she is probably hurting from not being able to give you everything she’d like to. 

Post # 8
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t get why your inlaw’s family isn’t throwing you a separate shower.  Generally you have at least 2 showers – one with your family and one with your fiance’s family. 

My mom hosted mine.  Screw etiquette.  Everyone else in my bridal party and family seemed to screw ettiquette for me and didn’t bother to step up to host.  My mom was the only one who cared about giving me a shower.

My husband’s aunt threw the shower for his side of the family.  

In general I don’t think it really matters who hosts the shower.  And you don’t need to formally put on the invites “Hosted by….”


Post # 9
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Personally, I think you should include the names of your hosts, they deserve the credit! It sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law & Maid/Matron of Honor will be doing most of the work, whether it be financially or physically, so I would put their names on the invitation so that way its a written way to appreciate them.

Plus tell you mom not to feel bad, typically its the Bridesmaid or Best Man or family friends, and often FMIL’s that host showers 🙂

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