Post # 1
Hi Bees! I’m getting married this September and all of our guests and family are spread all over the country. My fiances parents are a 12 hour drive away. I had originally written off the idea of having a shower since I didn’t want to ask guests to travel for a shower and again for our wedding. I’m sure many of them wouldn’t be able to make it. I told my Maid/Matron of Honor not to bother stressing over it as everyone lives so far apart.
Recently my mom was looking over the guest list and sighing about how she would love to still be able to have a shower for me since you only get married once, I’m her only child, etc etc etc. She said something about having a “virtual” shower so that the people who can’t make it could still feel like they are there and could still feel like they are there, and those who can make it can enjoy a fun afternoon together.
My first thought was that it would be a bit awkward, and that I don’t want to seem like we are trying to have a shower just to get gifts. I don’t know if I should step back and let her run with the idea since it would be her working with my Maid/Matron of Honor to plan and hope it doesn’t seem gift grabby, or just tell them not to bother at all.
I’m not 100% sure what I’m even asking. Am I overthinking this and being too controlling? Has anyone had a shower when almost everyone on their guest list is all over the country? Is a “virtual” shower even a thing?
Post # 3
I think a virtual shower would be extremely awkward and hard to coordinate. What does this even entail, all the guests Skyping in at the same time? I would find this very strange if I got an invite and I know this isn’t your intention but I would 100% think it was a gift grab.
How many local guests would you have? Could your mom just throw a small shower?
Post # 4
That would be a big pass from me if I got an invitation to one.
I think it’s one thing to Skype in a sibling who is overseas in the military or grandma in the nursing home unable to travel. But basically a conference call of people to “have fun” and watch you open presents? At least I assume that’s what you are saying when you say virtual shower instead of meaning invite people to mail you a present to “be included” (no one wants to be included in that way). I barely tolerate video conferencing for business purposes.
I get that your mom has some FOMO going on there, but thems the breaks.
Post # 5
Yeah that was exactly my thought. It would be super awkward to have some kind of skype/video chat situation. I’ll try to steer her towards just doing a small shower if she really wants to throw one. I think we would only have around 5-10 local guests who would be able to attend.
Post # 6
5 to 10 people is a perfectly respectable size. 90% of the showers I have attended have been a dozen people or less in someone’s living room. They’re intended to be intimate gatherings.
Post # 7
That makes me feel better. All the showers I have been to lately have been like 20-30 people and SO overwhelming. Smaller is definitely more my speed anyway
Post # 8
I get where your mom is coming from, but a virtual party is reaching too far; it would just be too weird and awkward for everyone involved lol. I would definitely rather go for the small shower for whiever is able to attend in person. For what its worth, I think that would be way more fun anyway!