Post # 1
So I’m one of the bridesmaids for my future SIL and her co-ed bridal shower is in October. They’re getting married in February on a cruise ship and since they’re well established in their house they only have a honeymoon registry through the cruise ship company. People can pay $25,50,100, 200 etc on various things like the wedding photography, wine, romantic dinner packages, couples massages, excursions, etc… although the money just goes into one big pot anyways and then the couple can spend it as they please. So how do we do a bridal shower when no one can actually bring presents? She doesn’t want a lot of games, and since it’s co-ed we can’t do too many of the typical bridal shower games anyways.
Do you have any ideas? I’m pretty stumped.
Post # 3
I think if you choose not to register for traditional shower items, you are no longer entitled to a shower in your honor.
Post # 4
@michiru4ever: Brides had showers long before they had registries, so it’s not unheard of. I would however, not focus on the registry for the shower. People can use that for their wedding gift.
I think the easiest thing to do would be use their cruise as a theme. Love Boat anyone?
You could play a couple of games often played on cruiseships like Bingo and Trivial Pursuit.
Drinks, decor , food etc are easy with a theme.
Gifts could be anything associated with a cruise or with the tropics- new beach towels, flip flops, books, e-reader, rum, new bathing suit coverup, sunscreen, etc
Post # 5
@MrsTVLover: But that doesn’t mean her loved ones can’t throw her one.
The cruise ship theme would be great!
OP, maybe you could do a ‘your presence without presents” deal and offer up the registry if people are really adamant about gifts.
Or you could ask people to bring favorite recipes/cookbooks in lieu of gifts. I think it’s a great opportunity to get creative!
Post # 6
I like the idea PP suggested – a cruise themed shower seems like a lot of fun!!! What about suggesting gifts FOR the cruise – ie swim suits, lingerie, luggage, etc
It’s not stuff from a registry, but at my cousin’s shower (years ago), everyone gave her lingerie lol. I was young and thought it was weird, but everyone seemed to have alot of fun
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2021 - Wyckoff, NJ
@michiru4ever: My shower is going to be very similar. I have a small traditional registry but most of what we’re registered for is our Mexican honeymoon. We’re doing a Mexican theme and my BMs and mother are putting together games and other fun stuff (plus unlimited sangria….)
Maybe you can do the old cruise favorite “Hairy Chest Game” lol (J/K)
But Bingo you can do easily with the shower. Get the guests to guess what the bride will open up for her honeymoon. Typically the guests will give cards that will say what they bought.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2021 - Wyckoff, NJ
@Mrs_Sailor: I don’t think the bride would appreciate “Presence without Presents” since she took the time to register for items they would like.
THe whole point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts and well wishes.
Post # 9
I wouldnt even go to a shower like that. Like PP said, the point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts – not pay for their honeymoon.
Post # 10
@MrsTVLover: Seriously…that’s harsh
I am having a very similar shower. I have recieved a lot of free items due to an untimely and unfortunate event so we don’t need a lot of things you would typically put on a registry. So for my shower I created a small registry at Target and for the wedding I created a honeyfund.
Post # 11
A honeymoon registry is a deceptive way of asking for cash. A shower is to shower with gifts — physical gifts — for the home. Yes, you can have a shower without having a registry, but no, it’s not appropriate to give “honeymoon registry” gifts there. You can have a “celebration” without the shower part (i.e. tell the guests no gifts) or they can figure out gifts without the registry.
What I would do:
1) Let your future SIL know that a lot of people are put off by honeymoon registries because they are a deceptive way of asking for cash which is really taboo. Tell her to delete that registry. To me, having a honeymoon registry is the surefire way I’m buying you the 20 foot metal chicken you always wanted.
2) Tell her if she wants a shower AND wants cash gifts for the wedding, make a small registry of things she can actually use and let guests of the shower buy off that. Once those gifts are gone most will know to just give cash for the wedding
Post # 12
@classyashley: That’s awful advice! Also, way to be vindictive. She asked for this thing that will be useful and make her happy, but I don’t like it, so I’m going to get her something horrible instead! That’ll teach her. Goodness, how petty is that?
OP, I think the cruise theme is a great idea. You could always play that game, “I’m going to a party and I’m bringing _________.” Change it to going on a cruise and you’re set! Have some tropical food/drinks. Oh! Maybe host it at a local pool? Check to see about glass bottles/liquor, but that could be fun.
Post # 13
@FutureMrsLadolcetta: I’m a little confused. I only meant that it could be weird to to have a shower and ask for honeymoon money— totally depends though. Like my family is super laid back and wouldn’t be offended by a honeymoon registry. (I personally think it’s a great idea!) But I know some other more traditional people that would would be.
I think the bride would understand that? Who knows though! I still think there are other creative ways to get around it! Like your bingo idea would be great!
Post # 14
@michiru4ever: I think you can probably do some co-ed games. Maybe do some “Battle of the Sexes” type of games? In terms of themes, I agree with the previous posters – the cruise ship theme would work really well. If she’s dead set against games, it could just be a drop in where people can have a drink, some food and dessert, pass along their congratulations, and leave. On the way out, there could be some information on the honeyfund for those who want to contribute.
I’m curious though. If the bride doesn’t want physical gifts and doesn’t want to play many games, what does she expect to happen at her shower??
Post # 15
@mgol25: The bride might just want it to be a party or cookput instead of a formal shower. Or maybe her social circle wouldn’t care that it isn’t a traditional shower. Also we have to remember that not every bride wants a shower and sometimes their families just throw them one any way hence not having a traditional registry.
I love the cruise ship idea! Especially if her guests were to give her gifts FOR the cruise. Also, since it is co-ed, I hope her guests remember her Hubby-to-be in their gift giving!
Just a side note: I have to say that I am so glad to have the social circle I have because some of these comments have made me think that people take this stuff WAY too seriously. Don’t get petty- just don’t come. If you wouldn’t attend my shower over the registry then I wouldn’t want to have you there any way. But I digress…
Post # 16
Sorry but I don’t think it’s appropriate to have a shower if you won’t register for physical gifts. People are going to try and get you presents regardless, so you might as well do a small registry unless you want like 12 crystal vases and picture frames. Asking for cash is just rude IMO.