Bridal Shower Yes or No?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

Yes, that’s strange. I would be put off if I was asked to fly out for a wedding, and then, hey, make sure you’re here a day early to give me another present.

Post # 3
Member
14017 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I think it’s inappropriate. Think of it from your guests POV.  Full disclosure, I’m against true destination weddings, namely not local to the couple or either family. 

Even if that were not the case, if you are asking people to spend extra money on travel and accomodations, you don’t impose on them for yet another gift or any at all. And even if it was local to everyone, the timing of a shower a day or two ahead could still be a burden on guests on top of a wedding gift, outfits, sitters etc. 

Post # 4
Member
1614 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I think it’d be more appropriate for you to host a luncheon sans gifts.

Post # 5
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
Skivies91 :  I wouldn’t do it.

Your bridal party is spending an extra night at a hotel already because of the  rehearsal dinner. I wouldn’t have another event that requires them to give you more. And guests will need to come a day early too. 

Post # 6
Member
561 posts
Busy bee

yeah that seems a bit odd.  i was in a bit of a similar situation where guests were scattered all over the country, and my wedding was across the country from where i lived at the time.  i just ended up having a small shower in my hometown with just family and a few childhood friends who lived in the area, and not inviting my other friends.

Post # 7
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I have to agree it seems rude and gift grabby. A destination wedding is a pain to begin with. Some guests may be wanting to fly in the night before, but basically you’re asking them to arrive even earlier to give you an additional gift. Also, what are the men to do, stranded out of town, while their female partners/travel companions attend your shower?

Post # 9
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee

Then don’t have a shower. Do a welcome brunch or bridal luncheon instead. But nothing involving gifts. Although, since you’re also having a rehearsal dinner I think it’s overkill for anyone that’ll be invited to all three events. 

Post # 10
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
Skivies91 :  no problem with doing a luncheon!! Bridal showers are usually used to help warm up everyone to the bride. That’s why Mother-In-Law or others host because it lets the families come together before the big day. It builds community. But don’t make this about gifts. Call it a luncheon and nix the gifts 

Post # 11
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

You can’t give a party for yourself at which guests are expected to bring gifts. It’s rude. (The only exception is if you host your own wedding.) Asking guests to pay for an extra night’s lodging in order to give you another present at an event you yourself are hosting–well, the mind boggles.

It is not fatal not to have a bridal shower. Many people have survived quite nicely without one.

Post # 13
Member
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
Skivies91 :  I agree with pp, definitely no shower!

Post # 14
Member
14017 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
Skivies91 :  . If I don’t have a shower on the weekend of my wedding, no one would be able to make it.:/ 

So don’t have a gift giving event? I had a similar situation minus the destination wedding and refused to even consider asking people to fly in for a shower. 

Post # 15
Member
4318 posts
Honey bee

Personally, I would not do this.  

I didn’t even feel comfortable having a shower because people were traveling for my Destination Wedding.  

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