(Closed) Bridal Shower…asking vs. being offered.

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with your Fi. I don’t think you should ask them host or pay for half of a shower. I also think it’s a personal choice how much a parent chooses to contribute, and it’s really great your Mom and family are willing to spend on this wedding. She is entitled to her feelings about what they are doing, however she should not expect them to contribute in a way they cannot afford, and even if they could afford it some families don’t believe in financing their children or family members weddings.

I think the way you handle things so far is the right way to go about it. I think asking for money is tricky and can cause all types of hurt/bad feelings. I think listening to your fi might be wise in this case. Good luck!

ps: Fi and I planned on paying for our wedding on our own and both set of Parents made offers. I think if you have to ask you have to have realistic expectations, and realize that they may for practical reasons, or just personal beliefs about money choose to not contribute. I think even if they were contributing to the wedding or rehearsal dinner, they might not want to do it for a wedding shower. I wouldn’t have asked personally, and I would have been upset if Fi did(but only because that is what we agreed to as a couple).

Post # 4
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Why do you need to book the venue so early- when are you planning on having the shower (since your wedding’s a year away, I’m not sure why this is an issue right now)?

Is your Aunt only willing to host for your family, not friends? If she’s hosting, she could always contact your Future Mother-In-Law for example- “I’m hosting the shower for mrs-j-to-be, and was wondering if you could help me with decorations, etc.” 

Since finances seem to be a concern, why not host it at someone’s house, or do something else to keep it lower cost? (Mine is in a restaurant’s party room, but they’re not charging the hostesses for the room, and are allowing outside desserts.)

If closer to the date, no one from FI’s family volunteers (mine certainly didn’t), if would be nice if your Aunt could at least invite your Future Mother-In-Law. You really can’t ask someone to host a party for you (would be nice, though)

Post # 5
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

Is that your true wedding date? I personally think its way too early to even be figuring out showers and who will do what.

I wouldn’t ask them aboout it either. You can start having a few conversations about showers and parties,etc., and see where it leads, but not outright ask them.

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