Post # 1
I live in South Carolina, all my family and bridal party live in WI. My Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaids are having a bach party for me in WI– I was thinking of trying to have a bridal shower while we are in WI as this would really be the only opportunity to have one. Is it tacky for me to host my own bridal shower/ask someone to host this for me?? Also my mom will be traveling with me back to WI–would it be tacky for her to host the bridal shower even thought she doesn’t live there??
Post # 3
Not sure what wedding etiquette is in your area. But in my area it’s not acceptable for the mother of the bride to host the wedding shower, so that scratches that out as an option in my area.
Also, wedding etiquette in my world says that you only get a bridal shower if someone offers. Since nobody offered in WI, you should ‘skip’ it.
This is all based on my socio-economic/regional/cultural/familial etiquette though. Dependds what’s acceptable in your neck of the woods.
Post # 4
I think it is fine for your mother to host your bridal shower, my Maid/Matron of Honor (is my sister) and she is hosting it and my mom really wanted to help out…so, I guess in a way my mom is hosting it! I think it will be a great opportunity for you to have your shower and bach party with minimal travel and time commitment for guests!
Post # 5
I’ve always understood that it is your Maid of Honor and with the help of your mother that hosts your Bridal shower. See if they both can get together and make something work for you.
Post # 6
I picked “skip” because I’m not a big fan of showers anyway so I kind of think if it is turning into a hassle then you should just forget about it. However if you really do want to have one, there is no saying that it needs to be in the host’s home. Your mother could host it at a relative’s house or find a restaurant with a party room or something. I would just try to make sure that the guest lists would be significantly different if you do opt to go this route. Since your BMs are already probably paying a lot to have the bachelorette, you don’t want to hit them with another major expense in the same weekend…
Post # 7
I’m having both the shower (brunch) and bach party on the same day. If you really want the shower, mention something to your Maid/Matron of Honor, see how that goes.
Post # 8
thanks bees for all the comments and help!!!
Post # 10
My family is from Wisconsin, so I feel that culturally, as a generality, they are always up for a get together. Why don’t you gently ask a Bridesmaid or Best Man or aunt to host, with your mom’s help? It doesn’t have to be a big to-do, just have a casual event to hang out with the BMs and your aunts and cousins.
Post # 12
My mother is hosting my bridal shower and my Future Mother-In-Law is hosting my other shower…some areas still don’t find this to be acceptable ettiqute but now it is becoming very common for mothers to host.
Post # 14
small change in plans.. FH and I are flying back to WI in June for our bachelor/bachelorette party. We are still trying to decide between doing a joint thing or maybe just dinner then splitting up. Now I really need to decide about my bridal shower.