Post # 1
FH and I are getting married in HIS hometown. (It’s a long story: we chose their city because it fit more of the vibe we wanted, and there’s more to do in a big city than in my suburban hometown) FH and I live in a different city altogether. Therefore, literally all of my family (and a lot of our friends too) will have to travel to our wedding location.
I know that’s going to be a burden on my family, so I asked my bridesmaids to host the bridal shower in my hometown so that my family won’t have to travel twice. The only thing is: I don’t think many of my FH’s relatives will actually come because of the distance. I also think they will ask to host a shower for me in their city. Of course, I’ll graciously accept the offer if it comes, BUT in the meantime (and here’s the question):
Does my maid of honor send them invitations to the “official” bridal shower hosted in my hometown?
I’m really trying to be fair here. Honestly, I think my parents would be offended (and I would be too) if none of FH’s family made the trip to my hometown for the shower. My family doesn’t have a choice to opt out of the wedding and host a secondary wedding in our hometown (of course they could choose not to attend if the travel was too much).
I don’t want to make it a big deal, but you know bees, we stress over getting everything ‘right’ 🙂 I’m leaning towards sending invitations to all the women (despite their location). What happens after that we’ll make arrangements for later.
Post # 3
1) Yes, your Maid/Matron of Honor should send the invites anyway. If they can’t come, they can RSVP no.
2) You can let it be known that there are going to be multiple showers, and that you won’t expect anyone to go to more than one. That way it won’t look like a gift grab and more like you are so lucky to have so many people that love you and want to host parties for you. 🙂
3) Your parents shouldn’t be offended if FH’s family can only make their shower. Travel and money is tight for everyone these days.
Post # 4
Honestly, it depends on how much travel is required. I would travel much further for a wedding than I would for a shower.
If I can get there and back on the same day, I would go to the shower.
I would travel further for a shower if I were able to stay with family or a friend. I’m not likely to incur airfare and hotel costs for a shower. I would decline and send a gift.
Post # 5
Just a thought: I was a bridesmaid for a friend who lives in another state (1000mi away) and it hurt to see Facebook photos of a shower I did not know even existed, let alone was invited to. There is no way I could have afforded to attend, but had I even been made aware of the shower, I would have sent a gift. But everyone involved assumed that since I lived far away, I wasn’t interested. They were wrong.
I say invite them to both and let the travel decisions be made up to them. But someone else’s idea of spreading the word that there being more than one shower is a great idea on top of that.