Post # 47
I’m currently dealing with a similar situation. No offense to anyone who does like showers but I’m the type of person who just isn’t into the whole ‘bridal shower’ thing-and now that I will be a bride-I’m having a lot of trouble working my way around the ‘traditional’ events that happen before the marriage…some of which I just don’t agree with. My future husband and I spoke to family members about having two parties since my side lives far from here. We wanted to give our guests the option of coming to a party no matter where they lived so we could all celebrate together in one way or another…and it helps with travel expenses. My siblings are planning a “Jack and Jill” wedding shower for us-which is right up our alley-it celebrates the marriage, not just the bride or the groom. Recently, we realized that my fiance’s side of the family were trying to plan a surprise bridal shower for me…after we explained how I felt about the whole thing and told them we want to have a Jack and Jill type of party on this side too. Literally sat down and explained it…but it seems like that conversation never took place. So, thank goodness, my fiance set the record straight today…
I now feel guilty for causing an ‘issue’ which in turn gets me angry that it is even an issue. Do I really have to stand around and think about this? I hate this part of being a bride! It’s so unnecessary! Overall, I feel like I’m not being heard! I don’t want a traditional bridal shower-I feel it’s sexist, horribly old fashioned and in some ways unnecessary. I’m a modern bride-I don’t need a shower so that people (who don’t really want to be there) can buy another gift so that I can ‘set up house’…we have everything already.It’s OUR wedding-not just mine-where is the ‘Groom’ shower then? Why is it a singular concept? It should be about US…hopefully it turns out that it will be and this will be the end of it. This is harder than I thought! 🙂
Post # 48
I’m not having one for a few reasons: 1. Most of the people I am inviting to the wedding are out of town (my fiance and I live several states away from our hometowns) 2. I don’t really like being a center of attention 3. my fiance and I don’t plan on living in the state we live in now for the long term. When we finally settle down, we don’t want to have to take a lot of stuff with us. 4. We’ve been living together for two years. We already have everything we need. We’ve managed just fine without a panini maker. 5. We dont really have a registry. I didn’t want one at first. but at my mother’s insistence we have a registry through WeddingRepublic, which is a cash registry to help us pay for our honeymoon, date nights, concert tickets. Which will give us experiences, not stuff.
Post # 49
I didn’t have one (or a baby shower) because I think that throwing a party to get gifts is tacky. It’s not meant to start a war here, I just don’t like the concept. If people want to purchase gifts, I’m sure they can manage without a special party for it. Plus, I hate being the center of attention. Not to mention, financially, we’re much better off than others in our families, and I just think it would be weird.
Post # 50
I don’t want one at all, and personally I HATE going to them, eventhough I love love love weddings. I just think the gift parade is tacky and boring–and I feel like it’s a way of putting emphasis on money and material things.
What you’re describing as an “un-shower” sounds like a bridal luncheon, and I think they’re great. Girl time, a few toasts, good food…that’s fun and great for everyone there!
Post # 51
We have been invited to several “couples showers” as of late, and that is about as close to a shower as I’d like to get. My idea of a shower, if we had to have one, would be everyone coming over for beer/drinks and BBQ…and I don’t have to wear a dress or mind my language.
Post # 52
At first, I really really really did not want one. I had only been to one bridal shower before (50+ people and two hours of openning gifts…terrible). But, I told the host, as long as there are twenty or less people there, I’m okay with it.
Of course, now there are slowly being more and more people added to the guest list. People I do not see ever to speak to ever. They are either distant relatives of my Future Mother-In-Law (as she is hosting the shower) or friends of my Future Sister-In-Law (married to my FI’s brother). The lastest people that were added were my Future Sister-In-Law mother and a good friend of hers. Future Mother-In-Law said something along the lines of “We should probably invide X becuase, you know, she is a good friend of Future Sister-In-Law.” While X is getting married this year and my Fiance wanted to have her Fiance and her at our wedding, we are NOT invited to their wedding and I have seen her maybe 5 times.
On a side note, my Fiance is having a ‘bridal shower’ thrown by all the old ladies at his job. I’m supposed to show up at the end and everything. HAHA he was making fun of me for my shower woes.
Post # 53
I will definately NOT be having a bridal shower. I don’t need any gifts, nor do i want people to waste their money on us as we are pretty well set up and wouldn’t know what to do with it all. I also don’t like the idea of sitting infront of people and opening presents. My baby shower was awkward enough with everyone staring at me.
Instead we are having a bridal party. Since my hens will happen 3 hours away from where majority of us live and my mother and mil cannot attend aswell as a few other friends and family we are all getting together in town and going to dinner and doing girly activities and games and having cake.
One of my bridesmaids was still calling it a shower and i had to tell her to change the name so people wouldnt be confused and bring gifts.