Post # 1
A niche and potentially a somewhat vain question, but for those of you who wrote each other a letter/card and exchanged gifts with your spouse on your wedding day, how did you both know that’s a thing people do? My husband was pretty clueless about American wedding customs (and honestly, didn’t really care about wedding stuff in general lol), so I had to kind of spell it out that it would be nice if we exchanged gifts. Almost every wedding trailer or highlight video I see features the couple reading out loud from a heartfelt card or letter while getting ready and I always wondered…how does everyone magically know that this is a thing you’re “supposed” to do? Like is there a magic wedding handbook? =D
So I am curious…did you and your spouse write each other a card or letter or gift each other something the morning of? Is this something you can ask your coordinator to hint at or pose as a question to ask us (“will you need me to deliver anything to each other’s rooms and if so, what time?”)? Did any of you have that awkward moment when you realized that one got something for the other but the other didn’t? In my case, we both got gifts but I was the only one who wrote a letter/card.
Post # 2
We didn’t do any sort of gift or card. I think if either partner knows themselves or the other to be on the sensitive side those things should be discussed in advance.
Post # 3
He bought my wedding shoes and jewelry, I’ve bought him his tie and new fancy italian shoes. We bought all these things together for our 2021 wedding.
We thought things that we could have for the rest of our relationship and be connected to our wedding at the same time was the most important. A card may be nice, but presents after spoiling with the other things may be a bit much for how we chose to do things.
Post # 4
I plan on just ordering a cute card and telling my fiance to write me a note for the morning of. If I want a gift I would have to tell him exactly what to get haha. He’s pretty clueless when it comes to wedding stuff. But its definitely something we will talk about when it gets closer. I wouldn’t assume that he would just know to get a gift.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
We didn’t give each other gifts on our wedding day but we did write letters. But we had a wine box ceremony where the letters we wrote went into the box to be read on our first anniversary, so I didn’t discover what he wrote until then.
As far as how we knew what we were going to do, we discussed it. If someone wants to exchange gifts or letters then they should come out and say that that’s what they’d like to do. Way easier than hinting around or hoping the other person is a mind reader.
Post # 6
I’d said to my husband that I didn’t want to do gifts but we could do a card.
he sent me a lovely card and some flowers. I feel a bit bad that I just sent a card
Post # 7
we didn’t discuss it, and neither of us did it. i don’t know if its something that’s necessarily typical. i think if its something you want or expect you should bring it up with your fiance!
Post # 8
We did traditional vows, so I told my husband it would be nice if we wrote each other letters to read while getting ready that were personal and we could keep forever. He liked the idea and wrote a very lovely letter. As far as gifts go, he got me beautiful flowers the week of the wedding, a nice surprise when I got home from picking up my dress, and later gave me a bracelet that didn’t arrive in time for the wedding. I’m still working on his gift a year and a half later. It is very specialized and requires some luck, and so far it hasn’t worked out for me to get it.
Post # 9
You lost me at highlight video or wedding trailer–if we do this it will be a personal, private moment and not something staged for photos/video.
Post # 10
We each wrote a note to the other one to read for our wedding video. I loved the note! I told my husband to do it lol. And I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor to deliver my note to him, and to pick up his note to me. There’s no way my husband would do it if I didn’t tell him to.
Post # 11
We didnt do this. Personally I’m not a fan of doing something just to do it for a video/pic/show off or whatever. If you have to force someone to write a “heartfelt” letter, how heartfelt is it?
Post # 12
We probably won’t do it, as we’re getting ready together (both female), I agree with jelly that I’m really not a fan of doing things just for pictures or videos etc. that’s why I can’t stand “first looks” either, it’s all too set up and contrived for me personally, and I find it a bit cringey. I think if you want to write him a letter and give him a gift then just do it, but don’t tell him to do the same, otherwise it loses all meaning.
Post # 13
I think giving each other gifts and reading a love note is a relatively new wedding trend, especially if it’s being done for a videographer. It’s definitely not a requirement. Same thing with first looks. Also a newish wedding trend. We didn’t do either of them. Personally for me reading a note out loud while I’m being filmed seems a bit contrived. But to each their own! If you and hubby both want to do it then go for it !