Bride and Groom serving guests meals. Thoughts?

posted 5 months ago in Reception
Post # 16
1237 posts
Bumble bee

I just don’t quite understand why the greeting need to be linked to the guests eating (in the first and second scenario)? People should be fed at the same time or as close to as possible. You’ll have many antsy unhappy guests if some get to start while others are still waiting. Especially imagine being the last few tables and get all the leftovers everyone else have already eaten.

Also we had 56 guests, cocktail style, and we barely got to talk to everyone. With 90 people, you’ll need a few good hours. 

Post # 18
3028 posts
Sugar bee

fargonon :  You might want to consider limiting the toasts to just one. Ask your venue to serve you first, so you can finish your lunch faster, and then go from table to table to thank your guests for their attendance. Since you won’t have dancing, all your guests will be at their tables; this will make it easier for you.

Post # 19
2015 posts
Buzzing bee

I actually have seen this done.  It was not for religious reasons.  It was a large outdoor not too formal wedding.  The caterer made up plates for either the beef or chicken entree and the bride and groom handed the guests their chosen entree plate as they came by in a line.  So it was a plated meal but no service at the tables.  It didn’t seem like it took too long but I think they had others helping as well and guests were pretty mindful to just say hi quick and keep moving.  Which I guess in some ways defeats the purpose if there isn’t really time to talk to your guests and you’re just handing them a plate as quick as possible.  The biggest problem at this particular wedding is the bride and groom also had a head table but the wedding party (including myself) got quickly bored sitting there and wanted to go sit with our spouses and friends because the bride and groom weren’t even there until everyone was pretty much finished eating.

editing to add: I think a lot of couples scarf down their meal and then take off greeting people at the tables.  That’s what we did.  I focused on tables of people who might leave early and left some of our friend tables and close family to greet later.  You have no “later” so you will need to either hustle around or have a receiving line after your wedding ceremony cutting into the rest of your schedule.

Post # 20
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

fargonon :  I think that’s your best option. Get your food first, eat quick, then go to each table indivdiually while people are eating in the order they got their food. That’s what we did and that’s what i’ve seen almost every wedding do also. 

Post # 21
1237 posts
Bumble bee

That is a very tight timeframe! Yes I would suggest eat quickly then go and greet guests while they eat. 

Is it possible to do photos after you vacate the venue? How long do you have your photographer for? If you have an earlier lunch and leave sufficient time to greet everyone before the venue need to be returned, then go off at 3:45 to take more photos, wouldn’t the timing work out perfectly?

Post # 22
905 posts
Busy bee

Your photos are schedule to take waaaay too much time given the short time frame you have to work with. You have  3,30 between ceremony ending & send-off and you’re spending 1,15 of that on photos. That’s more than 1/3 of your reception!! 


You’ve got to find a more efficient way to get pics done. Can you do some before the ceremony? Or at another location after your send off? With 90 gueats, you can’t have huge families or wedding parties so what is scheduled to take that much time?? 


Eat quickly before entering the reception space and then make the rounds while your guests eat dinner. With 90 guests (minus your family and wedding party which will be thoroughly thanked and greeted by then), it cannot take that long to greet them all. I mean, long enough that you can’t hold up the dinner line while you walk around but not so long that you can’t get to everyone in 2 hours. 


PS- it’s very sweet that you’re so concerned about greeting everyone! 

Post # 23
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

What are your guests doing between 12:15 and 1:30.  That seems really late to feed them.  Could you feed them while you are doing pictures?

Post # 24
28 posts

My husband and I did something like that. Due to a communication error, the caterer left after our dinner without cutting our cake for serving (we had already done the ceremonial cake cutting). My husband and I jumped in and cut the cake, serving it to our guests as they came through the buffet line for dessert. We had several people comment afterwards about how lovely that was for the bride and groom to help serve their guests.

BUT, we had already greeted our guests at their tables during the dinner hour, so the dessert buffet line kept moving fairly well. And honestly, we were trying to kill time, as our New Year’s Eve reception was being stretched to our midnight sendoff.

You have a lovely sentiment, but given your tight timeline and it being the only time you’d greet your guests, I don’t think it would work well.

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