(Closed) Bride and MOH in one summer, ring envy, why do I feel horrible?!?! (long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@acebride:  I think I would feel the same as you if I was in that situation!  And to be honest, I don’t know why.  If you love your ring and your guy, then that’s all that matters.  This site is so good to vent about this stuff though ๐Ÿ™‚

So as for the shower, can her mom or any BMs help you out if it will be so close to your wedding?  I don’t think you should have to do all the work right before/after your wedding and hopefully she would be understanding of that.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can understand where you are coming from. and your feelings do have nothing to do with yours towards your Fiance or your bestie! I think it is a natural reaction to seeing anothers beautiful item ya know. as for her parties it is going to be hard for you but i believe doable. being that you are in the begining of June and maybe she’llbwe the end of august. you could have most of the work done for her shower before your wedding and then just have to finalize when you get back from honeymoon. or even if you do it with help before your wedding(as long as not too close to yours)[make sure to enjoy your special time too]. Idk I’m kind of rambling here and just think it will all work out and be so great that you guys are doing this together!

how close is your twin to these events? could it be a triple summer? jk

Post # 6
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

One of my BMs is getting married this weekend, so 7 weeks after my wedding. I will also be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in her wedding. We both got engaged last fall within 2 weeks of each other. Honestly it’s been a blast planning together, having someone to go to wedding expos with, compare details and plans etc. I think her ring is a little bigger than mine and her guy custom designed it. Darling Husband simply gave me his mom’s ring. I was jealous of the effort her guy put in for about half a second. Our relationships are so different and it’s silly to compare. I do love my ring. We did have to plan around each other’s schedules for showers and bachelorette but it really wasn’t a big deal. It worked out fine. Just relax and enjoy this fun time together. Plus you get to go first which is great cuz when yours is over you can just relax and enjoy hers.

Post # 7
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

The timing is incredibly unfortunate and I would feel the same way about having the responsibility of throwing shower/bachelorett right around my wedding time. The plus is that you’ll be in the same place (planning wise) as she will the whole way so it will be great to have someone to consult with (and she should be ultra understanding about the fact that you are BUSY as well!)

I had a hard time with people that got married before us who had been together for less of a timespan. It was just something I couldn’t shake, but it did subside once I got engaged. Hopefully yours will dissapate a little too once you’re in the thick of your engagement. Hang in there!

Post # 10
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s not really a problem as long as you plan for it. Seven weeks may SEEM close, but it’s not really that bad. If it’s imporant to you, make it work. It just takes some extra coordination. I have a good friend’s wedding (out of town) and my MOH’s 30th birthday in the month leading up to my wedding. Of course, I’m trying to plan something amazing for her 30th. It’s taking time, but she’s my best friend. My wedding isn’t an excuse to downplay a big event in her life.

Post # 11
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmm….reading this I HOPE I haven’t upset anybody in my life with my wedding plans. When I got engaged (June) I had been friends with my fiance for under 2 years, in a relationship with him for a little over a year and our wedding is booked for next year.

I can think of a few people I know who have been in a relationship a lot longer than we have, a couple who have been engaged longer than we have, yet not getting married for a few years after us, so I HOPE I haven’t peed anyone off with our plans now lol.

As for rings…well I KNOW mine probably cost less as it is swarovski instead of diamonds but I still love it as it’s so pretty and unique. Our wedding rings are costing more than my engagement ring and mine has a couple of diamonds in. Again I like the uniqueness because they’re handmade, that is the only comparisson I ever really notice – how unique the ring/rings are. I wouldn’t be worried if someone had a huuuuuuuge diamond and I don’t. So i’m afraid i can’t relate to that either lol.

Clashing dates – well that IS a bit annoying, but 7 weeks is 7 weeks – it’s a long enough gap in the grand scheme of things. My FCIL tried to stop us getting married in September next year as his is supposed to be late October/early November. It annoyed me he thought he owned the months around it. I could understand a week or a couple of weeks but it was getting silly. Plus he was peeved we were getting married first when he had supposedly been in a relationship AND engaged longer (yet still hasn’t planned anything towards the wedding). All it did was put our backs up, which makes me think you need to be careful here. A shower/bach party doesn’t need TOO much organising maybe, but I would raise your concerns there – not by asking her to move it, but by saying you’re worried about doing a good job as you will be so busy doing your own organising. Make it clear you want to do your best for her, but that you’re concerned you’re going to be snowed under and see if she has any suggestions.

Not sure what else to suggest, hope I didn’t come across badly either.

Post # 12
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Spoonie: Well I can see where your cousin was coming from however. Wedding that are a few weeks apart ( or few months apart) are hard for family members. Maybe he was worried about the  family members you would have that would have to travel to both weddings or the expenses they would incur . Not that I am saying you shouldn’t get married then, however I can see his POV.

 

Post # 13
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Cheesy Potatoes: He’s not my cousin, he’s my fiance’s cousin but guess we’re ‘nearly’ cousins so it doesn’t matter lol. We’ll be getting married in the same town (where all the family live) so travelling is not an issue. He was more peeved that we were getting married before him than anything else. Despite the fact we announced we were engaged first he claims he was engaged in secret before us and that he had been with his fiance for a long time (when nobody is really sure how long it is as he didn’t tell anyone until we were engaged). We had already decided September when he told us October/November. He could have moved his earlier if he wished, we wouldn’t have minded but it was the fact he was laying claims to all the surrounding months that was annoying. We’re getting married early September, so that’s at least nearly 2 months away from his.

Post # 14
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@acebride: I would say make it more of a bonding moment than anything. Your both getting married and it is a happy time in both of your lives.

Post # 15
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Maid/Matron of Honor and I got engaged within 2 months of eachother.  Her wedding is November 2011, and mine was originally June 2012, but when we found out I was preggo (!) we moved mine to October 2011, 2 weeks before hers!  I was terrified to even tell her, prepared to offer her an out and all that, but she’s but nothing but awesome.  Its been a blast having a wedding planning buddy, and I feel like I’m just eating/sleeping/breathing wedding stuff.  It really can work with showers and stuff if you just plan ahead and both make a conscious effort to keep things fair.  I thought it’d be a huge pain, but it actually is fun.

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