Bride asked for help, then changes her mind

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

It kinda sounds like she’s trying to push you into stepping down. 

Post # 3
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

What exactly is she informing her mom and other bridesmaid of? 

Did she know you had already started designing invitations? 

Her sister sounds rude AF. But, unless the bride is asking you to do extra work, then I would just go along with it. 

Post # 4
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee

Yikes. How long have you two been friends, and how old are you? The bride sounds like she’s in grade 5.

“My sister doesn’t like you. I’m telling my mum, wah!”

Good gracious.

So; she asked you to do the invitations and you spent considerable time working on something. (I hope you hadn’t spent the money printing them yet.) Then she said nevermind, the Maid/Matron of Honor is doing it. I would be frustrated at that point, I’d feel like she doesn’t respect my time, or my profession, as you’re a graphic designer.

However, weddings bring out all sorts of feuds and family shit, so it’s possible she was pressured into letting her sister have “more of a say” in the planning. Who knows. I’d try to let that go.

Regarding the bachelorette, was that her way of saying you are uninvited from the get away, because “her sister doesn’t like her friends”?

Does that mean her sister doesn’t like you, the best friend of the bride?

Or does that mean her sister doesn’t like you and the other bridesmaid?

Or does that mean her sister doesn’t like the other bridesmaid, so the bride is now excluding you both to appease her sister?

Is she expecting two bachelorettes, one with her sister, and one with you and the other bridesmaid? That’s… ridiculous and entitled.

What is she notifying her mum and the other bridesmaid about exactly? That she is acting like a twat and treating you like garbage?

Post # 6
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

She sounds like a pretty bad friend, sorry to say.

Post # 9
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
karenscott24 :  I was going to initially write that maybe she was afraid that asking you to design was taking advantage of your profession and felt guilty. But now, given the info that you are the mother of her ex… you really have no business being a part of this wedding party and she probably shouldn’t have asked you. I’m sorry bee, but I understand why her sister may not like you if there was tension between their mother and you as you were some kind of surrogate mother figure. Be the mature one and back down. Tell her that you’re honoured that she asked but you think it would be better if you were just a guest.

Post # 10
Member
47439 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Tell her you be would happy to attend as a guest.

Post # 14
Member
9125 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
karenscott24 :  I get the feeling she wasn’t planning to pay you. Or reimburse for supplies. I would not ask her again about decorating. Just show up Sunday in the dress and try to have fun. She’s been a shitty friend. I’d be as pleasant as possible on her wedding day, and then afterwards either let the friendship fade or try to talk to her about it (depending on whether you think this was a temporary thing that you’re willing to forgive, or that she’s shown her true colors).

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