(Closed) bride asking too much of guests? should someone tell her?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: should someone tell the bride she is crazy?

    yes- your guests are not a wallet

    no - even though its crazy its her day and she gets to do what she wants

    no - don't get involved in this mess and run far away from this wedding

    no - this isn't a big deal and you are over reacting

  • Post # 62
    2175 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’m curious as to who you’d be paying this $250 to.  Are you supposed to send your payment to the bride?  Personally (and to clarify, this would be the snarky route) I would look up the camp site and book it myself with my friends for what I imagine would be a whole lot less than $2000.  Of course she probably already booked the whole place herself and wants to rent it out to you for an exorbitant markup.  I think that might actually be illegal come to think of it?  I could not go down to the Hilton a year before I know there will be an event there, book every room, and then stand out on a corner renting them for 200% markups, this doesn’t sound any different…


    If you decide you want to burn the bridge in a really satisfying way, reply-all to the invite email informing all her guests of the lovely hotel down the road for anybody who doesn’t want to camp.  You won’t have to deal with backlash because her head will explode 😉  Totally kidding, don’t do that haha.

    Post # 63
    880 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    @littlemisshostess: my friend had a similar style wedding (minus the gustapo bride lol)at a camp where you could choose to stay in a very rustic cabin or permanent tent . at this place, the wedding cost X with the expectation that Y number of cabins would be rented by guests for an additional gain of Z for the venue. They explicitly state that if your guests rentals don’t equal Z, the bride and groom are required to pay the difference. I wonder if this is the situation your bride is in, and she’s feeling very eager  to get people to pay so she ultimately doesn’t have to. Doesn’t sound very fun, and I would prbly decline. Good luck!

    Post # 64
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Trying to make money off your wedding seems pretty low. You are supposed to throw a party and invite people to celebrate, not host a for profit event. Just don’t go. 

    Post # 65
    2503 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I wouldn’t pay $250 to sleep in a rustic cabin with a pack of people. In fact, I’m not sure someone could even pay me to do that, unless it was an emergency situation.

    I would pass on this one. She’s crazy and it’s unfair to force guests to pay for ridiculous accomodations. I get having to pay for a hotel for a Destination Wedding, but at least I can choose between a resort or a motel and I’m not forced to sleep in a cabin.

    In addition, for $2k for that many people, we could get a deluxe suite somewhere.

    Post # 67
    8375 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    This bride and her groom have taken the art of extorting money from guests to an entirely new level. Not only are guests expected to cover the cost of this wedding (and judging from the pricing, probably an expensive honeymoon and the couple’s wedding bands as well), but also they are expected to do so all the while experiencing the ambiance of a children’s camp with eight guests to a cabin and shared restroom facilities. Plus, they have the added joys of pretending to be happy about it while having to ignore insulting accusations from the unhappy bride, and purchasing a gift! Not even her smelling salts would be able to revive Miss Manners after hearing about this.

    Post # 69
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @littlemisshostess:  Good for you for deciding not to go. She’s using her friends and family to finance her party & lord knows what else… f-ing shameful. I do feel bad for her Maid/Matron of Honor though ugh : (

    Post # 70
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @littlemisshostess:  Good for you in declining. If there’s any example of “bridezilla”, I think this would be it.

    Seriously, she expected engagement presents, bridal shower presents, wedding presents, and then $100k from all 400 guests on top of that?!?! Heck. No. Just the $250 “cover charge” for the wedding is absolutely ridiculous– her guests better be getting a damn good show for that!

    Post # 72
    1740 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Wow, what a cash grab! There is no way I would be going to her wedding… $500 for my Fiance and I to stay in a camp cabin on bunk beds is RIDICULOUS.

    If she needed a reason why (seriously though, figure it out, lady!), I would just tell her that “the costs are too prohibitive, but I am extremely happy for you and your soon-to-be husband, and I hope that we can get together after the wedding to celebrate”.

    Post # 74
    39 posts

    If it were me I would politely say no while thinking “oh hell no”

    Post # 76
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I wouldnt go it seems you guys are paying for the reception

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