(Closed) bride asking too much of guests? should someone tell her?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: should someone tell the bride she is crazy?

    yes- your guests are not a wallet

    no - even though its crazy its her day and she gets to do what she wants

    no - don't get involved in this mess and run far away from this wedding

    no - this isn't a big deal and you are over reacting

  • Post # 77
    5317 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If she doesn’t seem like she would take constructive criticism well it’s each guest for his/her self… run for the hills and don’t attend! Make up whatever excuse you may deem necessary if she is likely to overreact to an honest reason.

    If she’s at all approachable, it would be nice (kindest on everyone, including her) to try to approach her about the topic, privately, in a calm moment, but if she starts getting defensive, abort! Abort! Run for the hills!

    At the end of the day, the drama she creates is not your responsibility, it’s hers. And this situation sounds like a potential bride-cano ready to go off.


    Post # 78
    4554 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I would probably never speak to this person again. This is her showing her true colors.

    I can’t believe she is trying to turn a profit off her guests. And she “expects” you to bring a wedding gift?! No one should expect a gift, ever–that’s why it’s a gift, and not tribute.

    Post # 79
    1125 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    This girl sounds like the craziest biatch of all time. I’d not go, and I’d prolly limit contact after that, too. What a nutjob.

    Post # 80
    8 posts
    • Wedding: April 2013

    So you can’t go if you don’t pay for the cabin… so there it is right there. You are paying for the event not just accommodation. Wow I just got married and was telling people not to stay at the venue as it was $290 a night… that was for 2 people, a private bathroom and a beautiful view… not bunk beds… she sounds a little nuts. It will be a wake up call when no one goes.

    I like the idea of taking a picnic basket and taking your own reception with you! Or going to a restaurant after with all the people that couldn’t afford the $250.

    Post # 81
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    So 8 people to a cabin… So if I’m invited with my fiancé, and don’t really know anyone else going.. Who are we supposed to shack up with?  Random cousins and neighbors?  LOL you’d probably get really close with people.  “Excuse me, can you hold my fancy dress while i slip on my shower sandals?”  

    Post # 82
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @cmsciulli:  It looks like the bride you linked to is in Kansas City… not NYC. But ohmygoodess, that sure does sound similar!

    Post # 83
    3479 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    F that. Don’t go.

    Post # 84
    9971 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I agree with PPs – just don’t go.  She won’t even notice with her 399 other invited guests… 

    Post # 85
    1057 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @Ice_cream:  Funny you hould say that… we have single friend (recenty broke up, and her ex will also be at the wedding) and the bride has placed the single friend in a bunk with a bunch of random single girls that our single friend has never met before.


    Post # 88
    13 posts
    • Wedding: May 2014


    I know I’m pretty late to this thread, but I want to say that I am also having a Camp Weekend Wedding. Its going to be a ton of fun! The difference however is that all of our guests have the option of staying on site in bunks, or at a nice lodge  a few miles away. For the people that choose to stay in the bunks (which all have 2 private showers and bathroom stalls) its completely FREE! Obviously, not everyone is comfortable staying in that type of “rustic” environment, but I think its a great option! Many of our friends will be staying at the camp with us, but we don’t plan on putting anyone into bunks with people they aren’t already friends with and will probably have only 4-6 people in each bunk. We will also be providing a Friday night dinner, and brunch on Saturday and Sunday in addition to the Reception Dinner. Guests can take part in as much or as little of the weekend as they would like. The point is to enable all our loved ones to come and enjoy a getaway weekend without draining their wallets. Since my FH and I are from different states (MD and NY) we thought why not just make it fair and make it a destination (Poconos, PA) for everyone!

    Anyway, I guess I just wanted to make it known that a Camp Wedding can be great, and your friend is really missing the point. I think what she is asking of her guests is ridiculous! You are right in choosing not to go. I hope indeed that the plans have been changed drastically for the sake of the guests that are attending and your poor friend in the wedding party!

    Post # 89
    779 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @littlemisshostess:  I just wouldn’t go. if i did go it would be for the stories you’ll be able to tell later. I certainly wouldn’t stay in the cabin. 

    Post # 90
    645 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @littlemisshostess:  Omg I just stumbled across this thread today!  I’d love to hear an update – did the guests finally put this horrible bride in her place?  This is seriously one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard!

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