Bride dictating specific hair style and nail color!?

posted 10 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

It’s definitely not unheard of. I don’t think the majority of brides are that particular about EVERY DETAIL, but some definitely are! 

Though, if she wants something that specific, I would have assumed that she would offer to pay for her bridesmaid’s hair to be done. That’s quite presumptious of her to dictate an exact style but not pay for her bridesmaids to get it done.

Post # 4
Member
4390 posts
Honey bee

Nope, but I’m not friends with tyrants either.

I’ve heard of others being subjected to it.

If she wants it, she pays for it though.  If she isn’t willing to pay, feel free to do whatever is easiest and most comfortable for you.

Post # 5
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think its rude that she is asking for a super complicated hairstyle, which is a back-handed way of asking you to pay for your own hair to be professionally done. I would probably be like “great I will need to start practising to hopefully attain the look you are going for then!” implying that if she wants pro hair she can pay for it herself. Are you sure she isn’t paying for your hair to be done? 

I think asking for neutral nails and shoe colour is pretty standard though. All weddings I have been involved in had this. 

Post # 6
Member
210 posts
Helper bee

Neutral or no nail polish is a simple enough request.

But demanding a specific hair style is too much imo!!

Post # 7
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I’ve had basic instruction like must be up/down, curled or etc. and the bride knew none of us were hair savvy to make a style last all day-she enlisted professionals.

I think neutral nails is a reasonable and very common request.

I would side eye if she’s not offering to at least pay for the hair though. 

Post # 8
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

beachykeenbee :  I would probably do what a PP suggested and comment something like “I better start practicing that hairstyle then!” to her. Maybe send her some pics of failed attempts lol

It’s pretty unreasonable for her to make a request like that and not pay for it herself. I would just practice a little bit, give her a sneak peek of that, and if she still won’t shell out for the hairdresser, just do your best to recreate it!

If she gets mad about it, it’s her own fault. 

Post # 9
Member
1551 posts
Bumble bee

Completely normal where im from but the bride pays for everything for the bridesmaids in my culture. My bridesmaids had the same updo (paid for by me), neutral nails (my nail varnish that they loved) and I bought their dresses, shoes, accessories etc. I think neutral nails are pretty simple, most people have nude or pink nail varnish and if you don’t you can just leave them plain. For your hair though I don’t think its fair that you should have to hire a hairdresser. Could you ask the bride if she is hiring a hairdresser for everyone, or whether another bridesmaid is able to do the style that she likes? 

Post # 10
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

beachykeenbee :  All of the weddings I’ve been in have been pretty laid back, basically just told what color dress and shoes to wear. 

I don’t think the nail color thing is a big deal.

But I think if she’s telling you how to wear your hair, and it’s not as simple as “down and curled” then she needs to be paying for it… 

Post # 11
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Greenspot Farms

I told my girls they needed a right side updo. I gave them the option of using my stylist and 2 of them paid for her services. The other two are good at hair and did their own right side updos. 

I picked the color and line of dresses and they got to pick the style and just sent me which one they wanted (they paid for the dress).

I also requested a neutral shade of nails.

I don’t think any of these things are unreasonable 🙂

I have 4 bridesmaids and 2 junior bridesmaids. I didn’t get any complaints and they all looked amazing.

Post # 13
Member
11789 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

You hear some brides do this but it’s absolutely inappropriate. Even if she pays. She gets some discretion over one thing, the dress. She cannot properly ask you to do anything specific with your hair or nails. You are a friend, not her prop. 

Post # 14
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

In every wedding I’ve been in the bride chose shoe color, hair style and dress. Not necessarily nail color, but I don’t think natural coloring is crazy 

Post # 15
Member
47 posts
Newbee

I asked my girls to have their hair up, but I paid for it. Dictating shoe color or style is normal, same with nails. 

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