Post # 1
OK bees who have been bridesmaids-
When you were in the wedding, did the bride demand that you have a certain hairstyle, nail color and shoe color?
Just curious because I wasn’t planning on paying for her hairdresser to do my hair but now I’m thinking I HAVE to because she is telling us we need a super specific hair style with a side braid that I know I won’t be able to do myself. Also she said no nail colors other than nuetral? Maybe this is normal? The only other wedding I’ve been in- the bride was super lax about everything besides what dress we needed to order.
Thanks in advance for your advice! I’m just trying to figure out if I’m being high maintenance by not wanting to get my hair done when I can totally curl it myself SO LAY IT ON ME BEES
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
It’s definitely not unheard of. I don’t think the majority of brides are that particular about EVERY DETAIL, but some definitely are!
Though, if she wants something that specific, I would have assumed that she would offer to pay for her bridesmaid’s hair to be done. That’s quite presumptious of her to dictate an exact style but not pay for her bridesmaids to get it done.
Post # 3
chelbell23 : That’s kind of what is bothering me- we have to pay out of pocket. She’s “giving us the option” of doing it ourselves but there’s NO way any of us can rectreate the hairstyle she sent us or maybe I am just really terrible at braids
Post # 4
Nope, but I’m not friends with tyrants either.
I’ve heard of others being subjected to it.
If she wants it, she pays for it though. If she isn’t willing to pay, feel free to do whatever is easiest and most comfortable for you.
Post # 5
I think its rude that she is asking for a super complicated hairstyle, which is a back-handed way of asking you to pay for your own hair to be professionally done. I would probably be like “great I will need to start practising to hopefully attain the look you are going for then!” implying that if she wants pro hair she can pay for it herself. Are you sure she isn’t paying for your hair to be done?
I think asking for neutral nails and shoe colour is pretty standard though. All weddings I have been involved in had this.
Post # 6
Neutral or no nail polish is a simple enough request.
But demanding a specific hair style is too much imo!!
Post # 7
I’ve had basic instruction like must be up/down, curled or etc. and the bride knew none of us were hair savvy to make a style last all day-she enlisted professionals.
I think neutral nails is a reasonable and very common request.
I would side eye if she’s not offering to at least pay for the hair though.
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
beachykeenbee : I would probably do what a PP suggested and comment something like “I better start practicing that hairstyle then!” to her. Maybe send her some pics of failed attempts lol
It’s pretty unreasonable for her to make a request like that and not pay for it herself. I would just practice a little bit, give her a sneak peek of that, and if she still won’t shell out for the hairdresser, just do your best to recreate it!
If she gets mad about it, it’s her own fault.
Post # 9
Completely normal where im from but the bride pays for everything for the bridesmaids in my culture. My bridesmaids had the same updo (paid for by me), neutral nails (my nail varnish that they loved) and I bought their dresses, shoes, accessories etc. I think neutral nails are pretty simple, most people have nude or pink nail varnish and if you don’t you can just leave them plain. For your hair though I don’t think its fair that you should have to hire a hairdresser. Could you ask the bride if she is hiring a hairdresser for everyone, or whether another bridesmaid is able to do the style that she likes?
Post # 10
beachykeenbee : All of the weddings I’ve been in have been pretty laid back, basically just told what color dress and shoes to wear.
I don’t think the nail color thing is a big deal.
But I think if she’s telling you how to wear your hair, and it’s not as simple as “down and curled” then she needs to be paying for it…
Post # 11
I told my girls they needed a right side updo. I gave them the option of using my stylist and 2 of them paid for her services. The other two are good at hair and did their own right side updos.
I picked the color and line of dresses and they got to pick the style and just sent me which one they wanted (they paid for the dress).
I also requested a neutral shade of nails.
I don’t think any of these things are unreasonable 🙂
I have 4 bridesmaids and 2 junior bridesmaids. I didn’t get any complaints and they all looked amazing.
Post # 12
futuremrs2020 : The hair thing is definitely what’s bothering me. She said “hair and makeup services are optional if you are able to do it yourself” if not it’s 65 for hair, etc LOL it’s not super intricate but the side braid head crown thing is definitely going to look like shit if we don’t get it done professionally
Post # 13
You hear some brides do this but it’s absolutely inappropriate. Even if she pays. She gets some discretion over one thing, the dress. She cannot properly ask you to do anything specific with your hair or nails. You are a friend, not her prop.
Post # 14
In every wedding I’ve been in the bride chose shoe color, hair style and dress. Not necessarily nail color, but I don’t think natural coloring is crazy
Post # 15
I asked my girls to have their hair up, but I paid for it. Dictating shoe color or style is normal, same with nails.