Bride dictating specific hair style and nail color!?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 46
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Eh.. she’s going after uniformity, which I get. But you need to take into account hair type, etc. when choosing this. I took my bridesmaid’s needs into account when choosing a dress (my sister is breastfeeding and needed a dress that would cover a nursing bra). She needs to offer to pay for the hair if she’s being that specific, though. I will disagree with other bees and say I don’t have a problem with this if she’s covering it. Now whether you have enough hair for the style… that’s another thing. Perhaps you could get with the other bridesmaids that have the same hair issue and address her together. Perhaps ask if there’s another cohesive look y’all could do that would be just as pretty. 

Post # 47
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

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beachykeenbee :  Perhaps you could ask the bride if there’s another hairstyle that might work better for your hair? I know we had to pick three different styles since the three bridesmaids were three different ethncities so our hair behaved very differently (mine is super slick and slippery because I’m Native American and Middle Eastern, one bridesmaid was Filipina so her’s would only hold a very specific type of curl, etc) but just went with sort of a vague general idea of a hairstyle rather than one specfici thing. Not sure if that’s wortt a shot? Did she give you the option to just not paint your nails but have them tidy?

Post # 48
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

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beachykeenbee :  I asked my bridesmaids for these exact same things but the difference is I paid for their hair and make up , they paid for the shoes , they went to dsw and bought shoes for around $35-40 dollars and the good thing it wasn’t a bizarre color i requested a gold color and they have used them again.  So if Bride is asking for specific things she should either pay or contribute. 

Post # 49
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly I think it’s pretty normal. I tried to be a lax bride but my bridesmaids still chose the same dress and got their hair done the same way Haha. It’s just normal here. 

Post # 50
Member
717 posts
Busy bee

I’m picking the dress my bridesmaids are paying for, but the dress is £30 and I went through LOADS of dresses to make sure I found one we all liked. I’m also specifying they wear flat shoes, no heels at all. But that’s mainly because I’m a measley 5ft2 and my bridesmaids are all 5ft8+ and I just plain don’t want to be even more of a midget in all the pictures haha! I am paying for my girls hair though, i don’t even mind if the hair doesn’t match I just thought it would be nice! 

Post # 51
Member
4972 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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beachykeenbee :  I’ve been told hairstyles, nail colours, shoes, make up, jewelry etc by brides but its always been that they pay for it all. If they don’t pay then they don’t dictate specifics generally. 

If you can’t pay for the hair or don’t wish to then just tell the bride and do your hair how you like. If your not really fussed and OK with spending the money and feel OK wearing the specific style then I’d just go with it.

Post # 52
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

When we got married I wanted everyone to have an updo, the same nail colour so we paid for it. The same went for dress and shoes anything that we wanted our bridal party to wear we paid for it

Post # 53
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Good Lord. It’s not tyranny. As long as the bride pays for your hairstyling, your manicures, pedicures, makeup, yada yada, it’s totally allowable for her to have a specific look. 

It is tyranny, however, for her to demand that without paying for it. 

Post # 54
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m a bitch. I would tell her I can not get the look she wants, and do not have the funds or the desire to have someone do it for me. She will get what she gets. 

You want hair done, you pay for it, brides. Really simple concept. 

Post # 55
Member
676 posts
Busy bee

I say try doing the hairstyle yourself and send her a picture of it. If it doesn’t look good, maybe it’ll make her rethink the style.

Post # 56
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

I was a bridesmaid once at a wedding where the bride told us bridesmaids to wear our hair down. She was worried that otherwise she would not stand out with her updo if we decide to put our hair up as well. We wore a very specific color and she had a white bridal gown, idk how one could have outshined her but whatever. Normally it’s nbd but it was a summer wedding and hot as hell. We were not happy – sweating our asses off in long polyester bridesmaid dresses and our hair down.

Post # 57
Member
477 posts
Helper bee

I paid for my girls’ hair and told them they could do whatever style they wanted. I asked for gold or red colored nails and neutral colored shoes, but I specifically said don’t go out and buy new shoes. I ended up with everyone having shoes that were all over the places and 5 different colored necklaces. It looked kind of terrible but oh well, what can you do. At least the hair looked nice? lol.

Asking for neutral nails and a color of shoe is pretty normal. Hair is a bit iffy – you can just reply to her asking, “Hey so this looks a bit complicated. I don’t think I will be able to do it myself. Are you ok with something different, or are you willing to pitch in for the hair you want?”.

Post # 58
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

I paid $65 and got hair and makeup done by her stylist (was maid of honour) and its totally the norm and expected where I am from and from everyone I know to have those things decided 🙂 

Post # 59
Member
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

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beachykeenbee :  I’ve only been a bridesmaid once but from what I’ve gathered it’s pretty normal for the bride to mandate those things. When I was a bridesmaid our dresses were picked for us- mine didn’t fit my body type at ALL… (boobs were way too big for the low cut top and the mother of the bride kept telling me to pull up my dress). All the bridesmaids also had matching hair, nails, and shoes (not just the color but the shoes as well). After that wedding I immediately swore I’d never do that to my bridesmaids because I hated it. As for the hair thing you should tell her you’re wanting to budget to make sure you have enough saved up for her special day and ask what her plans are for hair. The bride I was a bridesmaid for paid for our hair/nails. 

Post # 60
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I asked my bridesmaids to have their hair done, but I paid for it because it was a specific thing I wanted. I also paid for their makeup, and the Tiffany necklaces I got everyone as a gift to wear the day of. I didn’t care about nail color, but everyone showed up with French manicures so that was funny. I also didn’t care about shoes, because I wanted them to be comfortable. I had no idea I was being so easy. 

I am a bridesmaid now, and my friend wants us to pay for a hair stylist, dress, specific shoes, and makeup artist. I am not thrilled about it, but I did set aside money for it… she wants a specific nail color but who really cares? I was going to get a manicure anyway. I just wish she understood how expensive being a bridesmaid can be, especially for students like myself. I could have been way more annoying and gotten away with it, ugh. 

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